The ‘Christmas object’ prompt
If you had to describe your personality in terms of a Christmas object, which object would you choose? (Also, use the word “billingsgate”)
LORI:
I am a medium box — smaller than an appliance box, larger than a jewelry box — and wrapped with care, in glossy holiday paper, topped with silver ribbons and a handmade bow. My tag lets you know where I’ve come from and where I’m going.
Under cover of a large tree, and surrounded by others of different sizes, shapes and colors, you may miss me and open me last. My fancy wrapping may give you pause before ripping, but you do it anyway — letting out a salty billingsgate when you get a paper cut. You’re curious about what’s inside. And, though I’ve been selected for you, you may initially be confused by the gift inside. You investigate further, peering inside. There are no directions and batteries aren’t necessary.
You may discover to your delight that I’m useful, and not very difficult to figure out. With a little care and direction, I can serve many purposes. From advice and support, to comfort and humor, to tea and sympathy, I promise to perform to factory specifications.
However, once opened, I cannot be returned. Not even for store credit. Regifting would be difficult, as everyone will know you’ve already used me.
KEVIN:
Old Reliable
I think an old and valued Christmas tree ornament best reflects my personality during the holiday season.
The inventory of decorations includes more attractive items and ones acquired in recent years, but the old decoration revives good memories of Christmas celebrations long ago. When the annual process of decorating the tree begins, the old decoration is greeted with billingsgate — “Why do we keep this old piece of shit?” But Old Reliable will stay and eventually be placed in a prominent spot on the tree.
Friends and family will gather round the tree, and a few will spy Old Reliable, point to it and say, “Oh, I remember this one. It’s nice to see it still here after all these years.”
And in January, when it comes time to put away decorations and lights for another year, thought will be given to discarding Old Reliable.
“It’s a new year, a new decade. Maybe it’s time to welcome the new and say goodbye to the old.”
But sentiment and an ounce of prudence win out, and Old Reliable is carefully packed inside the box of decorations.
“See you in December, old friend,” is whispered as the box is closed and tucked away in a closet.
