Wonder Is Near from the At Wild Woman series by Amanda Sandlin
Wonder Is Near from the At Wild Woman series by Amanda Sandlin
Wonder Is Near from the At Wild Woman series by Amanda Sandlin

Habits are the key to automating your goals. When I set goals with coaching clients, we turn each of them into 1–3 tiny habits. Habits are the HOW that will get us to the end result the client wants.

The beauty of habits is that once they’re established, they require little effort and willpower on our part. That’s why they are such effective tools when we’re working towards a goal.

Now we’ve all had plenty of failed attempts in building habits. How do you make a habit stick for good?

There are three important steps.

If a client wants to…


You can’t rely on your school tactics anymore.

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14x14 Vision from the At Wild Woman series by Amanda Sandlin

You move to a new city. How do you avoid loneliness and find friends?

Research says it takes about 50 hours to make an acquaintance a casual friend, 200 hours before you’d call them when you’re troubled. That’s a long time, right?

We spend most of our waking hours at work, so that would be the most obvious pool of possible friendships. But if you only spend time together at work it will take you longer to become friend with someone. Hanging out with each other is what builds a friendship.

How to make friends as an adult

So what can you do to make friends? Be…


You didn’t automate them.

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She exists beautifully from the At Wild Woman series by Amanda Sandlin

I’ve just stepped out of an academic seminar on motivation. The teacher asked us what we, graduate psychology students, associated with motivation.

“Motivation is what makes me stick with things.”

“When you’re really motivated you’ll do anything to reach your goal.”

“Without motivation, I can’t sit down to study.”

The problem is; that’s not true.

Motivation is not necessary for perseverance. So don’t rely on it.

Instead, automate your goals with tiny habits. They are easy to do and once they have become routine, your goal is on autopilot.

If you want to become a writer, go to a café…


It makes things harder.

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Leave Her Wild from the At Wild Woman series by Amanda Sandlin

Picking up the phone to call a friend after a fight with your partner can be such a relief. They get us. But what if that emotional release had negative side effects?

How you see your partner is everything in a relationship

Relationship researcher John Gottman has an important piece of advice for us:

Seeing your relationship as a good one is vital for relationship satisfaction. Sharing that appreciation with each other makes us happy.

But what if you don’t see your partner in a positive light anymore? They irritate you to no end. …


It’s a survival thing.

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In The Quiet from the At Wild Woman series by Amanda Sandlin

There might be less stigma around depression, but that doesn’t mean you want to tell everyone about it all the time.

Even if you don’t feel ashamed of your depression in the hallway of work might not be a good situation to introduce someone to it. “I’m late because I dreaded getting up this morning. I actually struggle with depression” is a more complicated answer than “The bus was stuck in traffic”.

In a way, lying about your depression becomes a survival skill you need to add to your toolkit. Not all circumstances permit you to be straightforward about having…


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Laptop dread is real.

You don’t have to be perfect every day. It’s coming back to your work that matters.

When we commit to a goal, we want to go all in. We swear that we’ll run every night after dinner.

We buy a new planner and decide to put in two hours of writing before breakfast.

Because we want to do things right we turn into perfectionists.

(perfectionism = dangerous af)

All in the name of The Mighty Goal, of course.

The problem is that LIFE HAPPENS.

No control on your part there.

Your plan works for three days or even three months…


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Can you be productive and still have time to enjoy a cup of tea?

I believe we can be productive without paying the common price of stress, overwhelm and mean self-talk. Kind productivity habits help us do so.

When I first started my business I thought differently. I was convinced that discipline was the magic word, that if I could just be ‘more disciplined’ I would get everything done and move forward quickly.

I thought successful people rigorously scheduled their days and made use of every minute, dismissing any feelings of “I don’t want to do that” or “I’m tired”.

I thought to be effective I had to work like a perfect human productivity…


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The BA Thesis Set-Up

I’m in the more stressful phase of writing my BA thesis. So procrastination and I are sort of having an intimate relationship right now.

The hardest thing to do when you’re procrastinating is sitting down and getting started. And we have valid reasons to delay doing the work.

Did you know that when you think about the thing you’re procrastinating on, it lights up the pain region of your brain? It’s literally painful.

It’s no wonder we flee and turn to Netflix instead. But fear not: The good news is when we stop procrastinating and actually start working, that pain…


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I’m in the more stressful phase of writing my BA thesis. So procrastination and I are sort of having an intimate relationship right now.

The hardest thing to do when you’re procrastinating is sitting down and getting started. And we have valid reasons for delaying work:

It’s no wonder we flee and turn to Netflix instead. But fear not: The good news is when we stop procrastinating and actually start working, that pain goes away within a few minutes. The working itself isn’t painful, it’s the thinking about work beforehand that feels bad.

That’s why we often realize this thing…


What if you can’t do what you planned on doing today?

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I found a quote today that really resonated with me. It’s from Brené Brown’s book “Daring Greatly”. I’ll just let the quote speak for itself:

“I remind myself, “Don’t let the perfect be the enemy of the good.” (Cribbed from Voltaire.)

A twenty-minute walk that I do is better than the four-mile run that I don’t do. The imperfect book that gets published is better than the perfect book that never leaves my computer.

The dinner party of take-out Chinese food is better than the elegant dinner that I never host.”

Maybe you needed to hear that today, too.

And…

The Psychologist

Evidence-based strategies to achieve your goals and feel good while you do it.

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