Ancient Mystery Unlocked: The Secrets of the Medieval Gloynich Manuscript
For more than one hundred years, medieval scholars have been collectively baffled by one particular subject: how to get a date on Saturday night.
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But another persistent puzzle for scholars has, of course, been the infamous Gloynich Manuscript. Believed to date back to the early, pre-internet 1400s, the mysterious text of the Gloynich has been deemed “indecipherable” by countless historians and at least one dog groomer. The book’s origins trace back to the library of a small monastery in Italy that also, inexplicably, contained every Far Side comic. The Gloynich Manuscript can currently be found at Yale, where, due to a mix up, it is attending on a football scholarship.
The book draws its unofficial title from Milos Gloynich, the rare books dealer who acquired it in 1912 for something to read in the bathroom. Officially, the text is known among medieval scholars as the “Rockford Files,” and its mysteries continue to capture the imaginations of both researchers and idiots alike.
The mysterious letterings
The language in the book is unlike anything seen before, bearing perhaps closest resemblance to the stuff your dad shouts when he stubs his…
