The Morning Muse
Why ‘No One Can Make You Feel Anything’ Misses the Mark on Emotional Truths
Let’s stop excusing harm and start demanding better
We’ve all heard the phrase: “No one can make you feel anything.” It’s an idiom repeated in self-help circles, sometimes by well-meaning friends, and often by people unwilling to take responsibility for the harm they cause.
I’ve never liked the phrase.
At first, it seems empowering — a call to take control of our emotions and not let others dictate our feelings and reactions. But beneath the surface of this troubling fallacy lies a side effect we don’t talk about:
It absolves people of accountability for their words and actions, leaving the injured party to carry the weight of their hurt alone.
In truth, people absolutely can make us feel things. They can say words that cut like a blade, create situations that open old wounds, and act in ways that resurface pain and trauma we thought we’d left behind.
It’s triggering.
Trauma is a physical, cognitive, and emotional response caused by a traumatic event, series of events, or set of circumstances that is experienced as harmful or…
