SWEETENED SATIRE

The End of Summer Checklist

There’s nothing like a deadline to generate vibes

I had no idea physical newspapers were still a thing. Captured by Lisa from Pexels.

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Summer isn’t just a season filled with warmth and time off. It’s a sensation.

Whether you’re experiencing monsoon, winter, or tropical heat (IRL) isn’t important. Because it exists in nostalgia, pop music, advertisements, and captions. In posts populating our screens, forming a sunny second reality.

On the other side, however, is the uptick in movement. We have to launder our blankets and can no longer use them as shields. Summer coaches us to leave our homes and act on the items we labeled for “someday” in journals.

Avoiding the call can make time fly. One day it’s March, the next it’s August.

If, like me, you haven’t made the most of the last three months, don’t panic. As the subtitle says, we secretly love a deadline. You could also ask Copilot, but here’s a succinct (and humorous) checklist. Relatively speaking, that is.

You’re welcome.

1. You’ve chugged two iced lattes to quench your thirst.
2. You’ve rewatched (500) Days of Summer, with a proper cry.
3. You’ve had ice…