The lonely journey of adulthood
Finding people who share our interests becomes increasingly challenging as we age.
Friendships after 30? Forget it! Imagine achieving such a feat — especially when the desire to socialize wanes, or when our preferred activities no longer align with the late-night scenes, with zero inclination to make it happen after 10 PM.
I’ve spent my whole life searching for compatible people, willing to build a faithful and lasting relationship with me, and I must confess, I’ve never found them.
There’s always been a kind of adaptation on my part, adjusting here and there. I did have some very viable friendships, but they dissolved over time. That’s the closest I’ve come to having consistently great allies.
That vibe of being inseparable, almost like “count on me for everything, even splitting an apartment,” very Sex and the City-like, never happened here.
If it had, I imagine I’d be in a very different place right now.
However, all my books about wanderers and adventurers tell me that the journey is usually taken alone. Yep, solo. Sure, they stumble upon some people along the way, but usually nothing too permanent.
A couple few fleeting encounters.
Then comes a certain age that we begin to understand that our affections need to be nurtured. Living with pride or dropping the ball over minor slip-ups doesn’t favor our relationships at all.
We need to keep some people around us, even if they are different from us.
What doesn’t work for me is always having to be on control — when all i ever wanted was people who would say my name in a room full of opportunities. Invitations to hop on a bus and head to Nicaragua for a weekend. To be friends with Amanda Areias or Dolly Alderton.
Free spirits, adventurers, people who find their way and live life to the fullest, you know? They must be out there. Why haven’t I bumped into them? Why haven’t they reciprocated with me?
Then I begin to understand when people say that marriage is the most important part of their lives. I think that’s where you find someone to experience all and much more with.
Friendships at this level of harmony are very rare. It’s only in a great love and partnership that you find this kind of complicity, even if you are — indeed, quite different.
-
This is a personal blog. Feel free to chirup, dm or PayPall me.
