They wanted to arrest me in Kansas City.
And I did spend some time in a cell.
There was a plan to have me arrested when I arrived at Kansas City airport. However, the weather intervened.
Let me elaborate. I was visiting America with my sister to meet up with her children, one of them; my nephew was a deputy sheriff.
The plan was for me to be arrested by some officers on some immigration irregularity and take me to Kansas City jail.
Oh, what a jolly jape that would have been.
Who says Americans have no sense of humour?
In those days, Kansas City airport was not international, so we had to land at Chicago and catch an internal flight to Kansas.
Fortunately for me, we landed in Chicago at the start of a snowstorm. We boarded our ongoing flight and waited for the de-icing machine to prepare it for take-off.
I will admit to a feeling of unease when I saw the snow falling and the wings icing up.
For some reason, I began to think of Buddy Holly.
I was relieved when the stewardess informed us that the airport was closed, and we had to “de-plane”. (When we boarded the plane, I supposed we “planed”)
We spent the next fifteen hours in the airport, so the delay put plans for my arrest on hold forever.
All was not lost. Some days later, we had lunch with my nephew, who was dressed in full deputy sheriffs’ uniform.
He was carrying a baton and a pistol that looked as if could have brought down a 747.
This was prior for us to be taken in a sheriff’s car (I was in the front, my sister in the back) to the local county jail for a tour.
We visited the “safe” area where the less dangerous prisoners were allowed to roam free. My Nephew had checked in his weapons, so maybe these guys were not that harmless.
This safe area was very comfortable, almost like a lounge in a hotel, except all the guests wore orange dungarees. We were invited to observe the more dangerous inmates in their cells, but somehow, we felt that would be too humiliating, both for the prisoners and for us.
Our next move was into the old, abandoned jail. This held barred cells just like the ones seen in western films, and I went and stood behind bars.
My sister had decided to leave the camera in the main office, so there was no photographic evidence of the occasion.
Back in the main office, I was given the gift of a clock, bearing the badge of “Wyandotte County Sheriff’s Office.
And that is how I, an Englishman, spent some time in a cell in a county jail in Kansas City, Kansas.
Yeeha.
(I believe that is the correct refrain one calls out, is it not?) 😂
