Yes, I Was Part Of A Human Centipede. Yes, I Miss It.
You ever heard the phrase, “You don’t know what you got ’til it’s gone?” I heard that on the radio the other day. It was a song about some kind of a tree museum. It made me sick to my stomach. I hate trees. But I understood it also.
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You see, I, too, once didn’t know what I got ’til it’s gone. For me, it was being a part of a human centipede. And before you ask: Yes, I was in the middle. Whenever I tell people I miss being in the human centipede, they always assume I was in the front. Not so. I was the middle.
In my view, the front of the human centipede is not all it’s cracked up to be. It’s a lot of pressure. You have to make small talk, choose where to scuttle, and ultimately decide what to eat and how well to chew. I was much more comfortable in the middle, where I could just relax and take things as they came.
That was a long time ago, of course. Since we all got rescued from the mad scientist, I have to make a lot of my own decisions, which is annoying. I feel exposed, and people keep nagging me to get a life and find a job I like. I had a job I liked. It was the middle.
I guess if I had to put it into words, what I miss most is being a part of something larger than myself. The…
