Are dating apps affecting face-to-face interactions?
Digital technologies have become one of the greatest conveniences in the modern world — well almost. We use them for education, research, day-to-day business and heck we even use them to pay for things. One of the most popular uses of digital technologies that’s been around since the birth of the internet is helping people find love. Though, our reliance on these technologies to find love begs two questions: are dating sites and apps having a negative effect on social interactions, or does society automatically assume that the negatives outweigh the positives of these technologies?
In the 21st century, people are becoming reliant on digital technologies for the operation of their day-to-day lives and coordinating interactions. Personally, I’ve seen many of my friends sign up for dating apps such as Bumble or Tinder, and I have seen a common pattern in the way they alter their interactions from behind a screen to real life. They seem to have great conversations with others behind a screen but when it comes to face-to-face conversations there seems to be a significant amount of discomfort and anxiety surrounding what they should discuss or even whether they should ask to meet them.
The more I read into this, the more I discovered it was a common matter. Alison Segel confirmed this pattern when sharing her experiences of online dating versus real life in an article she wrote for elite daily. She explained how it was so much easier for her to talk to somebody who she had never met on Tinder than to build up the confidence to ask them to meet up in real life. Segel even discussed how she spoke with one user for years and neither one of them suggested to take the conversation offline.
A paper by Anabel Homnack explores how online dating is affecting face-to-face interactions. Once drawing information from other researchers and psychologists she concludes that people feel protected behind the screen as “the blows to self-esteem can be lessened.” Furthermore, as Segel experienced, it can often make it harder for people to take the conversation offline and into the real world.
Homnack also identified that people can form an opinion on someone’s personal appearance online. She suggests that people can idealise prospective partners and this can further reduce their likelihood of progressing towards in-person social interactions.
Graff, explores a similar point to Homnack in an article by PsychologyToday which examined how modality switch (from online to offline communication) can affect how partners negatively perceive each other’s physical appearance after first dates. He states, the “disillusionment effect simply means that we are likely to feel less satisfied than we expect on a first face-to-face meeting following an online encounter.”
The disillusionment effect can disrupt the normal processes of social interaction. When people meet someone offline for the first time, they’re likely to have a preconceived idea of who they expect a person to be. Therefore, it is common for people to miss sight of the other persons body language and true character, as well as their physical appearance. This results in people quickly moving on to the next best match without getting to know the other person on a deeper and personal level.
A literature review by Anderson and Rainie examines the research on the social effects of moving conversations from behind a screen to face-to-face. From existing literature these researchers conclude that online daters are more likely to disclose personal information and portray idealised versions of themselves behind a screen (even if the information is exaggerated or false).
There is a view that online dating is detrimental to the norms of social interaction. Some suggest that there was once a time where people would go out to bars, clubs and social events to talk to significant others and interact in a manner that was personal yet sensationally mysterious. Now there’s a view that people today are losing the confidence to engage in these social activities and instead spend their free time interacting with others behind a screen.
On the flip side however, online dating is also seen to be effective in facilitating online to offline communication. A common perception among singles is that it is hard to meet others in social settings. Wang, a man who identifies as gay explains, “I think technology has created a better, more democratic social environment for especially marginalized groups.” These technologies make it easier for singles to facilitate conversations online to overcome this barrier.
Another argument is that online dating technologies are useful for facilitating ways to meet people. A study reviewed by Smith and Duggan found that 59% of people believed online dating to be a great way to meet people, with a further 53% agreeing with the statement that “online dating allows people to find a better match for themselves because they can get to know a lot more people.” Furthermore, people believe that these technologies do in fact expose singles to more people than they possibly could in face-to-face settings.
Personally, I don’t necessarily believe that online dating is to blame for its effect on social interactions. Perhaps those using these technologies who are prepared to navigate their switch with another dater from online to offline should eliminate pre-conceived expectations of their date. Instead, people should try and remain neutral in their expectations of the other person.
As previously explained, prior to online dating, people would meet each other in social settings without necessarily knowing one another. I believe that the less that people disclose about themselves, before making the modality switch, the more influential it could be towards enhancing the outcome of that first face-to-face interaction. To boost positive social interactions, daters should find ways of establishing more confidence in talking to someone offline by either; practicing their talking skills or seeking professional assistance.
