A ballsy approach to the perils of plastic
President Trump and I have something in common
President Donald Trump and I have something in common.
We lose golf balls. Lots of golf balls.
But, we’re not the only ones.
When scientists scanned the depths of Scotland’s Loch Ness, they found no monster, but more than 100,000 golf balls. Tens of thousands of balls sprinkle the Pacific Ocean floor off the fabled Pebble Beach course. All told, of the estimated 1.2 billion golf balls manufactured each year, hundreds of millions end up lost in forests, waterways, and really deep rough.
That’s a lot of polybutadiene, zinc, rubber and thermoplastic lying around for the next 1,000 years. Some of that will make it into our food chain, courtesy of non-discriminating eaters including whales, dolphins and birds.
I confess to creating a small share of the problem,
I also admit that, in the moment, I block out any thought of what happens to those dearly departed. I’m far too worried about the embarrassment of having gone so far astray.
But nowadays, every time I congratulate myself for taking a reusable bag into the supermarket, so I don’t have to get a plastic bag, the little angel in my conscience reminds me of my latest foray into the outskirts of the local 18.
What to do?
Step one is fixing my seemingly-incurable slice. Prevention is always a must.
Another step is to encourage the reuse of lost balls. There’s already a mildly lucrative “golf diver” industry. And selling retrieved balls at the local club can be a great way for kids to pick up some spare cash.
However, there are too many obstructions or lack of financial incentives for the current system to make more than a “dimple” in the problem. And once a ball is plunked into the ocean, as the president — with his collection of courses along some of the world’s most spectacular beaches — has undoubtedly done, the high cost of recovering a salt-ridden ball can’t be recouped any old way.
It’s premature to ban plastics in golf balls. The only current alternatives are made of wood, so they’ll float or decompose. They’re like the ’80s versions of non-meat “hamburgers”.
But we can create incentives for building a better ball and provide funding for ocean cleanups. It can be paid for via a tax on carbon, on plastic, or on the ball itself.
An extra dime per ball would raise $120 million annually. That would pay for a lot of research and development, as well as cleanup.
I, for one, would be glad to pay the extra ten cents. If someone asked President Trump, he may be willing to do the same.
So, dear reader, if you get invited to join an upcoming Mar-a-Lago foursome, drop me a note. I have a good response to deliver in case the president asks for a mulligan.
