The Big Fat Gay Agenda — Revealing Our Evil Plan to Conquer the World

Photo by Alexander Grey on Unsplash

The ‘gay agenda’ is thrown around by right-wing extremists who believe we LGBTQIA+ folks are out to take over their conservative bubble and erase all heteronormativity from the world.

Boy, are they right.

We long to poison the minds of youth, to brainwash them, and shove our propaganda down their throats in the hopes that we’ll create more homosexuals to grow our LGBTQIA+ army.

Monday:

I wake up on Monday mornings to the sound of my Elton John alarm clock blasting in my ear. I drop my feet off the side of the bed and slide them into my super cute limited-edition Ellen Degeneres slippers.

I meander into my cold bathroom, make my morning pee-pee, brush my teeth, and change into my ‘Love is Love’ sweatshirt. I can’t buy anything if it doesn’t somehow directly support the LGBTQIA+ community.

I reach for my ‘I have two mommies’ dog leashes and gear my pups up to go potty outside.