The Peace of Not Knowing Everything
Have you ever been in a situation where it hurts you to not know about something, or even everything?
Well I have.
I personally have this urge to just want to know basically everything, and I have been for as long as my memory can recall. I never really thought about it leaving that deep of an impact to my life up until I reached the age where some may call it the “survival mode.”
It has greatly impacted my social life, that’s for sure. I wouldn’t consider myself as a people pleaser, but it does lead to a small part of it. For example, I find myself always asking the people around me how they’re feeling or what’s been bothering them lately.
Of course, it’s not a bad thing to want to consider another person’s feelings, but then again, it’s not for everyone. Some may find it rather a mood killer when one asks about their personal feelings. It’s no one’s fault.
To make matters worse, I always, and I say always, find ways to know about something I’m curious about. And so, like the saying goes, curiosity kills the cat. I get hurt after knowing, it’s somewhat a constant loop that I’ve never gotten out of.
And lately, I’ve been isolating myself and taking a break from my social platforms. I find myself being too hurt by knowing everything that I somehow don’t feel like I even want to know about anything anymore.
Being an overthinker can be difficult especially if you’re doing it all on your own. Most of the time it’ll lead to jumping into conclusions that aren’t always correct.
But how do one overcome it? Simply be okay with not having to know everything that you have to find out yourself.
Let’s say if you find yourself overthinking about your long distance significant other, and you’re starting to have excessive negative thoughts, instead of trying to confirm your anxieties about the situation, you try to distract them away — write in your journal, or blast your headphones with your favourite songs that it’s loud enough to silence the noise in your head.
Clearly being reassured is a great thing for the fellow overthinkers. But let’s not expect everyone to act the way we want them to act. Lower your expectations and just let people be themselves.
Occasionally, not knowing everything helps us to protect our peace. People talking bad about you? Let them. Your friend actually hates you? Let them. It does hurt, but it doesn’t have to go that deep if you don’t dig it out until the root.
Not knowing everything by definition doesn’t mean not caring anymore. But if you want to know because your anxiety tells you to, don’t find out. Your peace matters more than that hurtful of a fact.
It’s uncomfortable at first, to have to pretend not caring, but sometimes we have to fake it till we make it.
-R.D
