Love in the Time of Coronavirus
Dating is often a fraught exercise, but it’s a whole new ballgame right now. Thank goodness for Quilt, where we can connect—virtually and free—with experts and Quilt leaders like Evin Rose. Read on for some ideas from Evin, and then download our app to join us for a conversation!
By Evin Rose
In this weird, unsettling time, while we’re staying in our homes and waiting to see how the coming months shake out, there’s something just as key to our wellbeing as sleep, Lysol wipes, and a Netflix password: CONNECTION.
As a Dating & Love Life coach, I’ve heard a lot of fear arise from women in my community with the introduction of social distancing and self quarantining:
I’m afraid of feeling alone and isolated.
I felt so ready to find my person, and now dating is off the table for who knows how long.. I don’t want to waste all this time.
I just started seeing someone new, I’m worried about losing momentum and losing him…
To which I say, here’s what we’re doing: physically distancing. And, perhaps more importantly, here’s what we’re NOT doing: isolating, emotionally disconnecting, letting circumstances outside of our control hold us back from our deep desires for connection, intimacy, and partnership.
Before I get into some actionable tips on how to navigate your romantic life in this “new normal,” I highly encourage you to explore this journal prompt for yourself: When it comes to dating under these circumstances, what are the GIFTS available to me?
Our mindset dictates what opportunities we’ll find, how we’ll show up, and, ultimately, our experiences, so creating and choosing a perspective that supports and ideally even excites you is essential.
For my single women who are wanting to date right now — great news! Everyone is at home, more available than ever, and we live in the age of technology; the possibilities for connection are endless!
Our mindset dictates what opportunities we’ll find, how we’ll show up, and, ultimately, our experiences, so creating and choosing a perspective that supports and ideally even excites you is essential.
Three tips to start connecting and actually enjoying your digital dating life:
- Choose 1–2 dating apps (so that you don’t get overwhelmed). Even if you already have a profile, this is a great time to do a refresh! Update with recent photos that showcase your most authentic self, and choose prompts that are relevant to what’s going on right now and the shared experience we’re all having (i.e. Sharing/asking about a new hobby you want to take on during quarantine, asking for creative virtual date ideas, etc.) Don’t be afraid to be bold, honest, and share/ask what’s really on your mind right now; what do you have to lose?
- Switch from messaging/texting to either a phone call or Facetime quickly, so that you can actually get a sense of the people you’re chatting with and feel out if there’s a vibe. Tip: pre-frame that you have a short window to hop on a “quick” or “10 minute” Facetime call to chat for that initial meeting. You can totally stay on if you’re hitting it off, of course ;)
- Get creative with virtual dates! Think: movie nights with Netflix Party, cooking “together,” playing a game, having a onesie hangout, and taking turns coming up with fun ideas… no commute or heels necessary!
If you’re already in a relationship:
Already in a relatively new relationship or “situationship,” or in a long-term partnership but not living together? Not only is keeping the spark alive totally possible, but who knows? This might just bring a new depth or level of intentional connecting to your relationship, shaking up routines that might have been on auto-pilot and taking you out of your comfort zones!
A few suggestions for you to explore, to set your relationship up to thrive through the physical distance:
- Consider an intention or intentions for what you’d like to get out of this time when it comes to your relationship. Is it to explore new ways of creating intimacy? Having some deeper conversations than you usually do because there are no distractions? Or simply just staying connected? How could this time actually serve your relationship? Share with your S/O, see if you can set some intentions together and brainstorm ways you could support those intentions.
- Find some prompts for deep, exploratory conversations, or other resources that you could dive into together. Ideas to kickstart you: Aron’s 36 Questions to Fall in Love, Gottman’s Eight Dates (“essential conversations for a lifetime of love”), taking the Love Languages quiz, Erotic Blueprint quiz, or other fun frameworks and discussing your findings.
- Just like my singles who are virtually dating, get creative with your digital date night ideas! How could you plan something special for your S/O, or ask them to plan a surprise for you? Is there a hobby you could be learning “side by side”? How about a group game night with your friends, to mix up the dynamic? And what could a sexy night look like, without physical touch?!
Regardless of your current relationship status, this is a chance for each of us to tune into our deepest desires, to redefine what connection and intimacy really mean to us, and to get intentional about how we’re showing up for the people in our lives — romantic and otherwise.
I absolutely believe that we’ll see stronger, deeper relationships as well as brand new love stories coming out of quarantine; why shouldn’t yours be one of them?
Sending you off with all my love, and some free resources to uplift and empower you: my Self Love Practices for Single Babes in Quarantine 5-day empowering video series, my on-demand Love Life Workshop, and my instagram @evinrose where you can always find me sharing from the heart.
Oh — and for my single women who are really ready to use this time to deepen your relationship with yourself, and to get on your path to the love you deserve, the next round of my signature small group coaching program, Love Life Transformation, launches in late April. Submit an app from that site or reach out to me to learn more; I’d love to connect with you ❤
Join Evin for an upcoming Quilt conversation. Quilt is for women who believe in the power of women. Download the app to join us.
