The Power of Your Story—and Learning How to Tell It

Our writer attended a Quilt conversation about storytelling as empowerment. Here’s what she experienced. But don’t take it from us—learn the magic of Quilt for yourself! Download the app to become a member and come meet your community today.

by Erin Ward

Traffic. The detail that stands out at the beginning of my Wednesday night story. Any Los Angelian knows it well and is familiar with the momentary lapses in patience when you can’t quite understand why there are so many people on the road. I was on my way to the Quilt Conversation: The Power of Storytelling, an intriguing name that piqued my interest as a lover of words.

I was reminded of the Native American proverb: “Those who tell stories rule the world.” As I waited in the stop-and-go I wondered: What would this evening entail? A look at the art of storytelling? Perhaps a deep dive into the archetypes and mythology pervading cultures? Or maybe something more personal and Moth-esque? Would we create a story together?

Having found a parking spot I walked to our host’s home and made a commitment to let the agitation of my journey be kept in the car. I was delighted when our conversation leader, Baishali, began the gathering with three deep breaths. Our eyes closed, sitting in a circle of five women, we breathed and we arrived together. The various details of our days momentarily paused through watching the breath and letting our bodies soften. I opened my eyes and smiled at the four other women.

The Power of Women Coming Together

There is something extraordinary about women coming together. It may be a code written deep in our DNA, but somehow we all know how to hold space for one another. We know how to listen, and we have an infinite capacity to care. Our group of five was no different; as Baishali explained what we were going to do, our ears and hearts opened.

She relayed that she felt inspired to host the circle because of all the ways hearing stories had inspired her. “I wanted to create a space for women to speak their stories out loud and find meaning in them,” she said.

We were asked to write down our own stories by listing the events that stood out. It is a vulnerable act to take an honest look at one’s past, and the waves of pains and pleasures that have led to the present moment. Even more vulnerable is sharing this story with others.

Diving Deep in a Safe Space

Here is where the recollection of the night still brings me chills. Each woman in turn volunteered not a timeline of events, but dove deep into the hardships she faced and what it had meant for her. We spoke of moments that at the time seem insurmountable but in hindsight proved to have be the alchemical containers for growth and transformation. Traumas of childhood, heartbreaks of every kind, a relationship with an all-encompassing darkness that is so much easier silenced than attempted to explore. We trusted the four others in our intimate circle with the rawest details of our lives. No advice was offered, and we each gave freely of our attention. After each woman spoke her story in a way that only she could, we paused to let all that had been shared sink in. We honored the bravery to speak and to listen.

We could have stayed there for hours. We all wanted to know more and to share more because with each detail that was offered a truth was fortified: we are more similar than we are different. Our pain and our love has taken different forms and our stories are certainly unique, but the undercurrent of what we want, what we need, and what brings us to tears is the same.

After we shared our stories, we moved on to answer a few more prompts provided by Baishali. We were asked to examine what pieces of our stories held us back and to consider if there were any parts of our stories where we were deciding to be the “victim” rather than the “warrior.” We took time to reflect on the personal story we each told about our lives, and if there is any need for a revision of perspective.

Stories as Empowerment

How interesting it is that stories hold such power. The same story can lend its protagonist as a hero, a villain, or a damsel in distress depending on how it is told. I think of the myth of Persephone, the Greek mortal turned god. In some versions, she is the victim of a kidnapping and a forced marriage, yet in others she is the heroine of the Underworld It is a powerful question to keep considering: how are we shaping the story of our lives? Our group held proof that the struggles we have gone through can be reclaimed as poignant gratitudes due to the revelations they catalyzed.

Our stories also have the power to inspire and uplift those around us. As Baishali said, “when we tell our stories, we are letting others know that they are safe to do the same.” One of the women in attendance added, “I use to shove my story away and keep quiet. But now I see my story as the fodder for my life’s work, which is to inspire and support other people navigating similar struggles. To let them know they’re not alone.

It is inevitably painful to keep quiet about our truth, to hold it close for only our minds to know. And yet, the idea of expressing one’s story can be terrifying. What’s helpful to remember is that this is true for all of us. It is human to want to be seen in the best light, to belong to the community, and to be loved. Fear tells us that if we share our truth somehow we will compromise that love and belonging.

Vulnerability Triumphs Over Fear

What we learned that night on Baishali’s floor sitting in circle on pillows is that vulnerability is a form of strength, and when we step into it committed to expressing what is true for us, we open up to deep connection with those around us. Our story creates a pathway of connection from one human to another.

After departing the gathering — I should note, we all could have stayed for hours longer — I walked to my car in the brisk night feeling lighter. My story had been given a space to move through and be seen. I had also been given the chance to practice conscious listening, and to quietly support the person speaking. I was aware of a deep sense of connection to the women that had been strangers two hours prior. On the way home there was no traffic and somehow the events of the evening seemed linked to my breezy drive through the city.

It may be true that those who tell the stories rule the world. And, what was revealed to me is that when we step forward to claim our story, we become the powerful Queen inside of our own.

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