What’s the Deal with Emotional Release? It Helps Process Complicated Feelings, for One
In these uncertain times, emotional and mental health is a priority. Sex and relationship coach—and Quilt leader—Olivia Pavlov explains. Meet women like Olivia by downloading our free app and joining a free and virtual Quilt. We can’t wait to connect with you.
As I write this, I am sitting at the kitchen table. Picture this: my phone beside me on top of a scattered pile of homeschool materials, math books and kids drawings. There is a lego project happening at the other end of the table with my six year old step son and he’s asking me questions. In the room next to me, I can see a dress up party, dinosaurs, and baby dolls strewn about and a 4 year old rolling around in the middle of it all while singing.
We are “supposed” to be homeschooling. And in fact we are. This is what it looks like for us for today.
And believe me, boy oh boy do I need something to keep me sane in the midst of this. To allow the chaos to unfold around me. My secret weapon? Emotional Release.
This morning I spend 30–40 minutes doing a strange combination of dance, exercise, screaming, and shaking.
My personal blend of emotional release. And I invite you to find and adopt a practice for emotional release that works for you!
Why Emotional Release
Right now we are all feeling so much. Maybe it’s grief for the way things used to be. Fear about the uncertainty we are all held in right now. Frustration about our kids not listening, our partners annoying us, our parents calling too much or too little. Anger.
Maybe there is no reason at all, or you don’t even understand what you’re feeling. Your flavor could even show up as feeling numb. Yes numb is a feeling.
Whatever it looks like…I can promise you this, You are feeling. And more than normal. And what we didn’t learn in school of from our families (for most of us) is what to do with all these feelings. We may default to shoving it down, suppressing it with alcohol or other numbing drugs, letting it explode only in the most nasty of fights with the people we love.
There is another way. Conscious and intentional emotional release.
The below practices are a few of my chosen few, but start to listen to your own wisdom. We all have this innately inside of us to find a healthy outlet for our feelings. Ask and you will receive.
Tools
Pillow screaming. Take a thick pillow, cover your face, holding the pillow with both hands, scream as you shake from side to side.
Hand scream. A good alternative when you can’t make much noise. Imitate the pillow scream above but with your two palms pressed together over your mouth. Allow the pressure of your scream to push against your hand and shake back and forth.
Shaking. This is the most common response in the animal kingdom to trauma. Stand or kneel and shake in whatever way feels natural. Put on a high tempo song and follow the beat. Let your head, neck, shoulders, hands, arms, legs go.
Pillow hitting. Put two pillows on top of each other, or one pillow on your bed or couch. Make a fist like you would use in volleyball. Rather than hitting up though, hit down onto the pillow. Allow growls, screams, groans, etc. Exhale as you hit down.
Dance. Find a song that you can really get moving to and move however your body wants. Some recommendations: “Shake It Off” by Taylor Swift, “Closer” by Nine Inch Nails, “Purple Hat” by Sofi Tukker
Combine all of these as you please, I do find music helps, you can search for emotional release playlists on Spotify too.
Self Care
Make sure to ground yourself after you’re done. Allow some time to sit in stillness or silence after you’re done. This practice can bring up more feelings as well as the ones you release. Use thick pillows so you don’t hurt your hands. Make your environment supportive. Get your kids watching an educational show with headphones. Lock your door. Make the space safe for you.
Not feeling ready to take this on alone?
Join my upcoming Quilt on April 16th where we begin to explore these practices. Also, I highly recommend self-pleasure during this time as another emotional release. But that’s a whole other article.
In love,
Olivia
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