Why ‘Rona Discomfort May Be Good for Us—and Tips on How to Use It
We’re not trying to downplay it—it’s a scary time. But there may be some silver linings to this terrifying experience we’re all going through, and the way we think about connection foremost among them. Here, one of our community members shares why. Want to see for yourself? Download the Quilt app to join a free and virtual conversation with women from all over the world. We’ll make it through this, together.
by Suzanne Montalbano
The playing field has been leveled. We are all vulnerable together. Our routines have been shifted. Our days have been changed. We all find ourselves with a little more time at home and facing what feels like a lot more uncertainty than is comfortable as we experience the global pandemic of COVID19. So how can we change the conversation, the perspective, the road map that we are on, when we feel like so much is out of our control?
Lucky for us, growth happens through action in discomfort. I encourage that we seize this as an opportunity for change — not simply to sit and watch and wait.
The last few years of my life I have jumped off of the deep end into piles of discomfort. Fueled by a time of depression, a desire to step beyond the old (and untrue) stories I’d been telling myself, and a goal to be my most authentic self, I took actions. Actions that were not always comfortable. I said no to things that no longer served me (settling in relationships, toxic work environments), I focused deeply on cultivating my passions (creativity, teaching yoga, writing), and made big decisions that scared the shit out of me (accepting leadership roles, moving across the country by myself).
Some were big risky leaps but most of these transformative actions were taken step by step, putting one foot in front of the other. Slowly and deliberately cultivating a more authentic life, in control of how I wanted to show up for myself and others.
Whatever discomfort currently looks like for you during this pandemic, it will be a chapter in your story. Maybe it’s a hard chapter to read but it will be your reaction to it that determines the next one. Write it — don’t let it write you.
Using the Discomfort
With this pandemic, we are being forced to not so easily fall back into our old habits, our go-to comforts, the things that we rest on when we don’t want to take a chance or to make a decision. We can use this discomfort and time to fuel us, to explore our gifts and reconnect with the things that bring us joy. These things are likely the ones that have been put on the backburner because of all of the ‘shoulds’ that engulf our day-to-day lives. Ultimately, it’s these things that lead to our passions and can enrich our lives and also manifest in ways to support our communities.
We’ve seen examples of this through the aid of technology these past few weeks as we yearn for community and support and look to leaders. Quilt chats, once hosted inside people’s homes, became virtual places to connect. Workout classes streaming in droves became a reprieve and a shared energy with others around the globe. Programs were set up for freelancers who lost their jobs, making it easy to instantly send money to someone who otherwise wasn’t able to pay their bills. This is because leaders are stepping up with the gifts and offerings they have spent time cultivating — and in turn arming their communities with resources, support and a feeling of togetherness. This, no doubt sparks more of the new conversation, and gives other women the permission to do the same.
Becoming a Leader
So how do we access these leadership qualities from the comforts (or discomforts) of our homes right now? We can start to explore more closely and develop our innate gifts, so in turn we can lift up and support other women. Here are some ideas that might seem mundane, yet can be truly powerful at this time.
Connect. With people you know, and then some you don’t. The comfort of speaking with my family and friends across the globe at this time has been like sinking into a cushy feather pillow filled couch in my childhood home with a warm comforting meal and my mother rubbing my back. It’s amazing. It’s necessary. Keep doing those things. In addition to those comforts, what new community and perspectives can we tap into? The opportunity to support and hear what other women are saying, feeling, and doing during these times will not only keep you moving forward with others, it will inspire you and connect you to community in a time of physical isolation. Also, it’s so easy. (Thank you, technology.) Sign up for a virtual Quilt chat or be inspired to lead one of your own, supporting and holding space for others in the face of uncertainty.
Create. Draw, paint, color, cook, sing. Do a project in your home. Write a poem. Jot down memories of your dream from last night. Document an idea. Write down something. Anything. Your wildest dreams might just appear on that piece of paper. Or maybe it’s a hint to a step in your right direction.
Listen. To your intuition, your body, to perspectives other than your own comfortable ones. Question things. Meditate. You might discover something new to explore.
Move your body. My personal favorite form of medicine/therapy. Find one of many resources to stream yoga, cardio, and dance classes. I’ve been streaming The Class by Taryn Toomey and going on walks in Griffith Park (safely social distanced of course). Having these in my routine right now has allowed me to feel connected to others doing the same classes, and to be more connected to my body.
Learn. Are there topics that you’ve always wanted to dive into? What were your absolute favorite things to learn about as a kid? Try to tap into that and maybe find an online course or workshop to learn something new. You never know, you could be on the path of building a career from your most passion filled interests! Personally, I’ve been very intrigued with Human Design and am using this time to take Jenna Zoe’s course to become a reader. The intention is to learn more about myself, but also cultivate something I can offer to my community to assist them to tap into their gifts.
Embracing Uncertainty
The tide always turns, and life was, is and will continue to be uncertain long after COVID19 is behind us — it just feels much more intensified now as we analyze this uncertainty under a microscope. I invite you to analyze your discomfort with that same microscope. Throw your passions in there. Your creativity. Your hardships. Your voice. Your feelings. Use this time to investigate all of that. You will learn a lot about yourself and it will surely fuel you. It will encourage you to take steps into a direction, to support others to do the same and it will manifest in beautiful ways as we work through and ultimately emerge from this uncertain time more connected, and more clear on what we want and what we can offer.
COVID19 has illustrated in a real time global example of how massive changes are created step by step. Now, reframe that perspective. What is the step you will take today to start to cultivate that massive change you want to be? Do it every day, and with one foot in front of the other you will start to become that for yourself, and for the community around you. Then you’ve written your chapter of the story where amidst discomfort and uncertainty, this was a time where you started that journey.
Join Suzanne for an upcoming Quilt conversation. Quilt is for women who believe in the power of women. Download the app to join us.
