Why Vulnerability with Strangers is Exactly What the World Needs Now
The power of sharing your feelings with strangers can’t be overrated—particularly in the unprecedented moment we’re globally experiencing right now. Quilt is an app that since 2017 has connected women with each other to have conversations in which we find our true strength: Commonality. Discover the power of authentic connection by becoming a part of our free community .
by Zoë Björnson
At any given time, we’re all going through something. Right now, we all just happen to be going through the same something.
I had never been through one before now, but I would have imagined that a pandemic would bring up a lot of different feelings, especially when many of us are “locked” inside our homes. Turns out I was right.
Sharing those feelings is scary. Hell, sharing your feelings is always scary. Sometimes you might not even know what those feelings are. It might be easier to push them away and hide them in the cake you just baked, the pavement you just ran on, or the book you just read 100 pages of. You might be looking around your house and seeing no one, or seeing your entire extended family. Regardless of your quarantine company, it can be hard to figure out what to do with those feelings.
There is relief in sharing your feelings.
Whenever you’re going through something in everyday life—anxiety about being able to get pregnant, a frustrating situation with a colleague, or the current not-so-rom-com-esque period of your relationship — the moment you share it and are met with someone who has experienced something similar, you can feel your body loosen. Your heart rate returns to a normal BPM (for the first time in weeks) and you take a deep breath. There’s a level of relief that comes from that share. To think you had been holding all that in just minutes before!
There’s not only relief in sharing your feelings, there’s power.
By sharing common experiences, challenges, and feelings, we create a more powerful community. That community can be face-to-face, or, especially in times like these, screen-to-screen. That share creates power both within you, and within the new bond you’ve created with whomever is on the other end. That power is more everlasting than the relief.
Right now, our face-to-face shares are limited. You may not have a loved one to turn to and say “I’m feeling so _________.” You may be wanting some space from the loved ones you can turn to. And that’s okay.
That’s where strangers come in.
In difficult times when we’re all going through something similar — think 9/11 or the 2016 election — our community has a tendency to start to feel bigger and closer almost overnight. Strangers smile at each other, leave flowers for one another, and offer a helping hand more often than they normally would. The global pandemic of COVID-19 is no different, except that this time, the world is united, beyond national borders. That unity isn’t against someone or a particular worldview. It’s toward a new, healthier world that we’ll meet when we come out of this.
The hiccup with this global challenge is that we can’t physically offer a helping hand. Luckily, strangers can still hop on a video conference, and you can join them.
Why strangers?
Sharing your feelings, your experiences, or your personal challenges during this time with a complete stranger brings more comforting relief than you might think. We’re not met with the same personal walls that are built up between family members or loved ones. When you share your feelings with a stranger, you open up a window to your world to someone who has no context, and nor do they need it. The cracks in your voice, the way your eyes flutter around the screen, and the pauses in your sentences will give them all the context they need.
Speaking your truth during this time is more important than ever. We’re all navigating this uncertainty differently, and we need all the information we can get. I’m not talking about news. Understanding how someone else is experiencing this time may bring up new ways for you to tackle your day, whether that’s how you set up your remote workstation, the way to plan for your next homeschool lesson, or an invitation to a virtual sound bath.
And if I could just request one thing — don’t limit your sharing to be solely about the virus. We’re all going through plenty of other things at the same time. You might be dealing with employment due to a layoff last year. You might be going through a break up. You might be pregnant. You might have just gotten a raise. Talk about those things. Talk about what saddens you and what excites you. And yes, you’re allowed to be excited.
Understanding how someone else is experiencing this time may bring up new ways for you to tackle your day, whether that’s how you set up your remote workstation, the way to plan for your next homeschool lesson, or an invitation to a virtual sound bath.
Now is the time that we grow, not only personally, but as a human race. Take a moment to reflect inward, find those feelings, and pull them out. Once you’ve deciphered them yourself, share them with someone else. Your mom, your partner, your little cousin, or your best friend from college.
Or—and here’s where we challenge you to expand your comfort zones—share them with a stranger. You could shout your feelings from across the sidewalk on your next morning walk. Or, you can join the next virtual Quilt and be met with some friendly faces that want to hear your story and let you pour out your feelings.
And if you’re one of those friendly faces on the other side of the screen, take a moment and pause. Listen to those stories, feelings, and experiences. Listen to that stranger speaking and applaud her bravery. It’s hard out there.
Zoë is a designer, writer, and product consultant who is passionate about using technology to enable authentic experiences. She has a knack for picking out the perfect cheese and is always planning her next escape to a remote island.
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