Accountability for Long-Lasting Change
Holding ourselves accountable is one of the most difficult—and important—steps toward living an empowered life. Healing your personal wounds is the first step. Looking for a supportive community to help hold yourself accountable? Download the Quilt app and become a member today!
by Melissa Barker
When I was an undergrad at UC Berkeley I had the opportunity to take a class with powerhouse Professor Ananya Roy. The class was amazing as we looked at power dynamics globally and ways to create sustainable change. One thing that always stuck with me was her final lecture. In it she spoke of accountability, and framed the idea of accountability to ourselves as the starting point for any long lasting change. I have mulled over this lecture for years, and always come back to the founding question: am I being accountable to me?
Sometimes my answer is no. Sometimes it’s yes. Other times I drop the question all together for months only to be reminded that self accountability is some of the best self care we can ever practice.
As a founder, single mom, first-time CEO, survivor… human woman… I find myself doing the constant dance of stretching myself outside my comfort zone while also doing my best to remain true to me and my needs.
I am just gonna level with you. This shit is hard.
It’s a practice. And it takes hard work.
For me, holding myself accountable is a daily practice, one that requires me to come back to my core values regularly. Journaling serves as a helpful tool for me. Some days I take a daily inventory of my wins, the moments of when I remained true to myself. Even if it is a micro-moment, it counts—this type of self work helps build the foundations of self love, and the stronger that foundation is the stronger we are able to show up in this wild world of ours.
Holding yourself accountable can show up in many forms. It can look like:
- Holding a boundary from a place of empathy but also self preservation
- Making the conscious choice to not compare your life to what you see on Instagram—especially when everyone seems to be #thriving
- Meeting yourself with grace and self-love when things are messy and hard
- Naming your feelings and turning towards them with curiosity rather than self judgement
- Investing whole-heartedly in the things that bring you joy just because they light you up inside
- Asking for help when you feel vulnerable and knowing that this very act is truly brave and admirable
However holding yourself accountable shows up in your life, I encourage you to explore this practice and enjoy the levels of self-dating that this comes with. In the theme of February and all things love related, I hope that you carve out some time for just that—getting curious about you, and fiercely loving yourself through the process.
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