Curating the Memories in Your Life: Purchasing Experiences
There is a great deal of research on whether money can truly buy happiness. The general consensus goes something like this: You need enough money to buy the basic essentials in life such as food, shelter clothing and some luxury items (or toys). But beyond a certain point, our happiness levels off. That is, once you account for your essential needs and some luxuries in life, making another 100k or million doesn’t really make us much happier. This research into the psychology of happiness also indicates we are better served through purchasing experiences rather than products. A vacation, a trip to the ball game with your children or and afternoon boat ride with your spouse will provide more happiness than a new iPad or smartphone. I would contend these life experiences also provide greater meaning in our lives than simply having more material items.
As I have written in this column before, our life experiences are what, I believe, we will most likely remember when we look back. They are what will give us true meaning in a life lived while the hours spent toiling away in a cube at the office or the endless hours on social media platforms or watching TV will not. Try this test if you are skeptical: Close your eyes and think about your life for 30 seconds. What jumps into your mind? Graduation, prom, your wedding, your honeymoon, the vacation to Italy, skydiving, the business trip to Tokyo? If you are like most people, the high points in your life are related to accomplishments, experiences and monumental events that stick in your memory. I like to try and create these experiences and savor them. I do this through travel, photography and seeking out new experiences in life. But since I have started this journey to add meaning to my life, I have spent much more time truly saturating myself with the experiences I know I will remember forever.
Recently, I traveled to San Antonio and had the pleasure of exploring the downtown area of the city. It is a beautiful city and I was there in March — a good time to be anywhere in Texas if you’re from Chicago. San Antonio is a very historic city in Texas. My first evening and day there was devoted to business and I didn’t get the chance to explore much. But I was lucky enough to stay in a hotel along the Riverwalk and was centrally located.
I woke up early my second day in the city. It had been a busy trip and this was my first morning to myself. Being here on business, I had to squeeze a certain amount of tourism into the early mornings and evenings. I also needed the best lighting for photographs. I headed down historic Huston Street around 6 am. When I left Chicago there was 3 inches of snow on the ground. This morning I was wearing shorts, sandals and a tropical shirt. Total heaven and a nice break from the frigid extremes of the north. I had a tripod over one shoulder and a camera around my neck. The walk took less than 6 minutes in the darkness. But I would have walked 30 or more for what I was about to see.
You can’t miss it and when you walk by after sunset, they have the place lit up with floodlights washing the historic architecture with a slightly blue tint. I arrived and had set up my camera by 6:30 with an hour left until sunrise. And so I sat and soaked it in — The Alamo. I had heard friends and co-workers talk of visiting this icon of American history. They often said it was little more than a wall. I found this to be less than truthful. The Alamo is actually a building with four walls for the chapel, a long barracks in an L shape and a sprawling garden.
There were all manner of plaques around the site filled with information and quotes. I had yet to tour the Alamo (but I eventually did) and knew the basics of the history, but not all of the details. I took some photos, then took a few time lapse shots. To kill a little time until sunrise, I started reading some of the plaques. One plaque provided some detailed information concerning the famous Travis Letter. This plaque truly a brought tears to my eyes.
The letter refers to William B. Travis and his plea to the people of Texas for reinforcement troops. Travis was a man trapped with his army, outnumbered but refusing to waver. His letter read:
Fellow citizens and compatriots;
I am besieged, by a thousand or more of the Mexicans under Santa Anna. I have sustained a continual Bombardment and cannonade for 24 hours and have not lost a man. The enemy has demanded a surrender at discretion, otherwise, the garrison are to be put to the sword, if the fort is taken. I have answered the demand with a cannon shot, and our flag still waves proudly from the walls. I shall never surrender or retreat. Then, I call on you in the name of Liberty, of patriotism and everything dear to the American character, to come to our aid, with all dispatch. The enemy is receiving reinforcements daily and will no doubt increase to three or four thousand in four or five days. If this call is neglected, I am determined to sustain myself as long as possible and die like a soldier who never forgets what is due to his own honor and that of his country. VICTORY or DEATH.
William Barret Travis
Lt. Col. Comdt.
P.S. The Lord is on our side. When the enemy appeared in sight we had not three bushels of corn. We have since found in deserted houses 80 or 90 bushels and got into the walls 20 or 30 head of Beeves.
Travis was a soldier and that is what struck me so deeply. I was once a soldier — a United States Marine stationed as an infantry soldier. And you can’t be an infantry Marine at any point in time without wondering if you will see another sunrise or sunset. There were days when all I had was hope and this hope was the only thing that kept me placing one foot in front of the other and marching forth in life. But the pure desperation these men must have felt is something entirely different and something I have never experienced.
There I was, cloaked in the darkness with tears welling up — all over the bravery of these fine warriors. How great must their fear have been facing such dire odds. I had never thought or identified too much with The Alamo. I wasn’t a Texan nor much of a western history buff. But, it was the old soldier in me — that was where I identified with them. That was where my great admiration originated. I looked upon this place — nearly 200 years since that battle. They were soldiers and so am I. That morning was a day in which I will always remember. Looking upon this historic mission where so many lives were sacrificed brought on a sense of awe, gratitude and admiration. It was truly an unexpected reaction for me…but one that was apt.
Across the street from the Alamo is the Alamo Cenotaph. It is a monument to the men who fought and died there and is quite beautiful for a monument with a design that seems to stand the test of time not dating it as many monuments are. There are famous likenesses carved on the exterior — Crocket, Travis, Bonham and Bowie — and the base is inscribed with the names of those who fell…that we know of (some of the inscribed were later shown to have not been present at the battle through scholarly research). As I read the names and admired the monument, I thought of those who were lost to history. How many and who fought at the Alamo is not completely known. There are names and men lost to history. People who made a difference may be forever lost and their names may never be inscribed here. Isn’t that a little like our own lives? Most of us will live lives of relative obscurity even though we may all make a difference and impact the world in some way.
What most of us want (or should want) in life is to simply be remembered. But that’s nearly impossible for the average man or woman in this life. But maybe it is enough to just know you made a difference — that you pushed for something you believed in, pursued a dream or changed a life. Maybe that’s enough. But it seems a shame so many names are lost to history and so little of the story ever gets told.
There are — of course — less morose aspects of San Antonio. There is the Majestic Theater, the Riverwalk and historic shopping centers. It’s a large city with a very small town feel to it. I walked until my feet hurt and my camera cards were filling. I could have spent weeks here instead of just days. It was new, warm and alive. And as a result, I felt new, warm and alive. And I had one more experience to file in my memory.
As I noted above, I have learned to stop and truly appreciate the richness of these moments in my life. It’s because in the past year or two, I have begun to realize what is truly important in life. This makes it easier to recognize these moments when they arrive. It might be the falling rain on a random afternoon or a conversation with a close friend or just a true laugh. But these moments are to be cherished and if you don’t learn to recognize them when they come, they will leave as quickly as they arrived. This trip was one of those moments and it lasted nearly a week. I connected with something I never felt a connection to and appreciated those who came and went before me. It adds richness and another layer of meaning to my life as well as an overall appreciation for life.
In the months that have passed, I have thought a lot about those men in a small mission called The Alamo. I have read up on the history, watched documentaries and scoured the web finding little trinkets of information here and there. I’ve wondered what kept them going when the chips were so far down. Sometimes you just do what you need to do to survive. Sometimes you just push forward and hope for the best. But on a long enough timeline reality will eventually surpass hope. We believe there were at least 182 men who died at the Alamo (probably more). Each of those who died eventually ran out of hope and came to the realization they were in the last moments of their life in this world. And most kept fighting to the very last seconds. Maybe they had 30 seconds or only a few to think about their lives, loved ones and the gravity of their situation before it all ended. We, however, have today. Many of us will have tomorrow, the next month and years beyond. How can we make that time count? How can make our remaining time a memory we’ll have in our last moments?
