Being Middle-Aged in the Middle Ages

A Series of Interviews

Matt Querzoli
Aug 31, 2018 · 2 min read

Richard Halliwell — Retired soldier and farmer (32)

“Yes, I lost my arm in the battle of…well, it had some funny name…and my leg…but it’s good that I’ve made it to middle age. None of my children ever did. And although that’s been very sad for my wife and I, and my second wife and I, and my third wife and I, I feel quite lucky to have a fourth wife who is bearing another child for me. Plus, more broth for me. Speaking of which, where’s my broth, woman?”

“Oh, that’s right, I’m between wives at the moment.”

“Would you mind making some broth for me?”

Gearvas Travese— Retired farmer and soldier (28)

“It’s not what I dreamed of. I dreamed of having six children and a plot of land the size of Ivan’s next door. But I’ve only one son and he’s coming with me when we march on the Scots in the next campaign. My hair’s receding and I think I’ll have to retire give up the sword after this one. It’s not that I’m scared of it, it’s just the blood is starting to make me turn off slaughtering pigs and chickens and such.”

“Damn Ivan.”

“Want some salted pork? I’ll be giving the poisoned stuff to Ivan, don’t worry.”

Drake Wright — Retired village idiot and soldier (30)

“Well I’ve gone ahead and dodged multiple sword thrusts, malnutrition, homelessness and constant abuse from the townspeople — all of these dodged — and ended up with leprosy. I wouldn’t mind getting a break soon.”

“Well, I make some good coin with the pity donations.”

“Don’t worry man, it’s not contagious.”

“That’s it, you can touch it if you want.”

Agnes Fawr— Retired butter churner and reluctant battlefield berserker (34)

“It has been hard, spending all of these years bearing children and churning bloody butter over and over and over and over. Once I had to fight off some Vikings when they tried to raid us. The battle’s now known as the Buttery Bloodbath.”

“We actually captured one and I churned him into a new butter, which makes soups so much richer.”

“Actually, I’ve got some jars left if you want?”

“Come to think of it, you don’t know of any battles coming up do you?”

Edun Frideric — Nobleman and not soldier (42)

“Can’t complain.”

“No, seriously, being rich has its perks.”

“But you wouldn’t know about that, would you peasant?”

Matt Querzoli wrote this.

The Quintessential Q

Get a bit of Q in you.

Matt Querzoli

Written by

And on the third router restart, He rose again. https://www.matthewquerzoli.com

The Quintessential Q

Get a bit of Q in you.

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