Casual Air-Guitarist Reckons He Has What It Takes To Play Wembley

Hairdresser and fentanyl dealer, Adam Shambert, has today silently confirmed to himself that he would have what it takes to play in front of 70,000 people at Wembley Stadium in a rock band.
Mr Shambert, who was listening to Led Zeppelin IV while re-packaging a recent delivery of fentanyl, pulled out an imaginary double neck Gibson EDS-1275 to play the solo when it began to echo through his small Seattle flat.
Singing the notes, Mr Shambert showed flair, entirely incorrect finger placement and an out-of-time strum as he went, in his mind, from a low-level fentanyl dealer and hair slicer to a world-famous rock star.
Mr Shambert continued to imagine what life would be like as a famous musician as he continued on packaging up his drugs; his good mood was elevated by imaginings of sex with groupies, the riches to be made, and the makings of a worthwhile legacy.
Shortly after the song faded to white noise, the police reportedly burst in and arrested Mr Shambert before he could pursue his day-dream.
Matt Querzoli’s Adventures in Blokedom is the satirical publishing arm of The Quintessential Q. Follow him or his randy publication if you liked the post, or even the bloke himself if this tickled your proverbial pickle.

