Coward Found Pouring Drink Down Bathroom Sink at Mate’s Monthly Drinking Game Night

source

Local plumber and now resident coward Lengthy Shortfellow was found on Saturday night to be pouring his beer down the bathroom sink, after a mate crashed in to see what was taking him so long on the pisser.

Mr Shortfellow was in attendance of friend John Yologov’s monthly drinking games night, where all participants are required to throw up at least once, contact with significant others is strictly banned and the inhalation, injection or snorting of illegal drugs is encouraged.

“A disgrace, that’s what he is,” remarked small-bladdered Mr Ross, the one who discovered Mr Shortfellow in the midst of his beer wasting. “A fucking dingbat.”

Mr Yologov, recovering the next day with a triple espresso and a tea cosy sitting snug on his head, said, “Lengthy and I’ve been great mates for a long time. But this is unforgivable. A tragedy of Shakespearean proportions.”

Mr Shortfellow has been banned from the group for three months, dubbed the ‘Back Avenue Boys,’ and has been assigned penance by the local vicar, Mr Yologov’s father, to thirty-three Hail Mary’s, fourteen Our Father’s, and one suicide shot a day until the ban is lifted.


Thank you to jaden violet for the name for this series. Legend.


Matt Querzoli’s Adventures in Blokedom is the satirical publishing arm of The Quintessential Q. Follow his writing blog, his letters to strangers blog or his blog blog if you liked the post, or even the bloke himself if this tickled your proverbial pickle.

Like the bloke.

Follow the bloke.

Be the bloke.