Family Begin Funeral Preparations for Boy Who Called Teacher “Mum”
A distraught family is making funeral preparations today, after their young son Evan Fairmeadows colossally fucked up and called his young teacher “Mum” instead of “Mrs Murphy.”
Despite quick thinking on behalf of Mrs Murphy and the ambulance arriving in less than ten minutes, Evan tragically passed away. The embarrassment was reportedly too much for his young body to handle.
This is not the first incident of the classic ‘calling the teacher Mum’ situation, but it is the first reported fatality. The Fairmeadows have pleaded with the public and with schools to make sure they put in some measures to ensure other children won’t suffer the same fate.
“Teach your children to think before they speak, and pressure your schools to train teachers in CPR and other live-saving techniques,” said Mr Fairmeadows in statement to the media.
In lieu of flowers, the family has asked instead for donations to be made to Evan’s favourite superhero, Spiderman, so that he can continue his crime-fighting endeavours for years to come.
