Geriatric Computer Commentary

“It’s all those games you’ve been playing!”


Scenario: Balloon flashes notifying it’s time for an update.

Response: “That’s a virus.”

Scenario: They accidently click the close button on a program.

Response: “That’s that Greek horse thing. Troy. Eric Bana…Brad Pitt…oh yes! A Trojan Horse!”

Scenario: An email from a self-proclaimed Nigerian prince arrives in their inbox asking them to send money.

Response: “What a nice man, going all this way to release my funds for me. I didn’t even know I was related to royalty!”

Scenario: Advertisement says there are sexy singles in the area.

Response: “Where were they back in my day?”

Scenario: A pop-up flashes on screen with the text “Definitely not a virus.”

Response: “Should I download that?”

Scenario: They try to open a pdf in Microsoft Word.

Response: “That’s a malware.”

Scenario: They are deciding on a password.

Response: “Can I just do 1234? Maybe 1234#? That’s secure, right?”

Scenario: They incorrectly enter their password or username.

Response: “Why don’t they tell me which one I forgot?”

Scenario: A video buffers.

Response: “Technology is the embodiment of Satan.”

Scenario: A video buffers.

Response: “Technology is the embodiment of Satan.”

Scenario: They need to send a message to a friend on Facebook.

Response: “But will Carol see it if I send it to Jennifer?”

Scenario: You show them very carefully, step by step, how to print a document.

Response: “How did you do that?”

Matt Querzoli wrote this, after numerous experiences with the older generation and the shadow technology casts over their frail hands. Follow his writing blog, his letters to strangers blog or his blog blog if you liked the post, or even the bloke himself if this tickled your proverbial pickle.

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