How I Roster Off/Swap Shifts at Work

The Newspaper Article

Too Many Days Off Work?

by Matthew Querzoli

For Jennifer Chapman* and Olive Picker* of Northies Hotel, Cronulla, one employee’s requests for leave are getting so frequent that they are considering leaving him off the roster entirely.

Matthew Querzoli, 21, from Lilli Pilli, has tried to take off almost every Saturday night for the last two months at the local pub.

“It’s just not fair for the other staff,” said Jennifer whilst eating some carrot sticks. “He says he has 21st’s to attend, but we all think he just stays at home to smoke crack with his 16-year-old white trash girlfriend.”

“I don’t know why we bother to employ him anymore,” said Olive, also eating carrot sticks.

When asked for comment, Matthew Querzoli refused, pointing out that a local named ‘Hagsy’ needed the music turned down and a beer — also dubbed a ‘Hagsy.’


Hello legends, looking to get the following off. They are all 21st’s except for the 17th, which is the races. I’m happy to work cellar or do the double cellar and SB 1:30–6 if need be on those days with the 21st’s.

  • 11th September (PM)
  • 17th September (All Day)
  • 24th September (PM)
  • 8th October (PM)

Lots of love,


Matt Querzoli is posting the email transcripts he sends to his managers to roster off/swap shifts. True stories. Follow his writing blog, his letters to strangers blogor his blog blog if you liked the post, or even the bloke himself if this tickled your proverbial pickle.

Like the bloke.

Follow the bloke.

Be the bloke.