Jan 15, 2017
Man Wearing Black Turtleneck Surprised When Shunned By Women
Francis Delacourt (28), semi-professional baker and baseball player, was astounded to find that during his last weekly visit to the nightclubs of New York not one woman would talk to him.
“It’s weird, that’s all,” he said, confusion warping his face. “I fixed my halitosis. I don’t chew my nails. I even bought new clothes.”
Among Mr Delacourt’s clothing purchases was a black turtleneck, which is being cited by the women that have rejected his advances as “pretty much the one and only thing that is stopping me from having a conversation with him.”
Stacy Brighton, a newly single cafe owner and accredited foot masseuse, said, “Look, it really boils down to this: is he the resurrected Steve Jobs, the previous billionaire CEO of Apple? No? I didn’t think so.”
Her friend, Miss Elwood, remarked, “Yeah. I might have considered him if he was seriously wearing a silk scarf, but I draw the line at turtlenecks.”
Mr Delacourt has since stopped taking fashion advice from his mother.
Matt Querzoli’s Adventures in Blokedom is the satirical publishing arm of The Quintessential Q. Follow his writing blog, his letters to strangers blog or his blog blog if you liked the post, or even the bloke himself if this tickled your proverbial pickle.
