Religious Nutjob Doesn’t Try To Convert Anybody

source

Certified religious nutjob, Nina Christummad (63) was observed to have not tried to convert anyone to her religion, the Sixth Day Adventist Church, for what appears to be the first time in her life. Mrs Christummad was observed by neighbours leaving her house at approximately 8:30AM on Tuesday, to quickly come across some skaters smoking crack in the gutter.

“She didn’t say anything,” said witness and drug-addled skateboarder, Glen McMullen. “She didn’t try to condemn me to Hell, or offer to smash my pipe. What a lady.”

Local triathlete and pre-workout addicted IT freelancer, Marissa McMullen, ran past Mrs Christummad as she was walking past a young Muslim family, on their way to a family picnic.

Ms McMullen breathlessly told Adventures in Blokedom that Mrs Christummad had offered a thin smile to the family and moved out of their way on the footpath. “I thought…she…she was going to like…tell them that they follow the devil…or to go back to where they came from…which wouldn’t have been difficult…difficult for them because they only live up…the…road,” said Ms McMullen.

After arriving home from her shopping trip, several neighbours reported hearing loud punk music originating from Mrs Christummad’s house, as well as the distinct stench of pot seeping from the open bathroom window.


Matt Querzoli’s Adventures in Blokedom is the satirical publishing arm of The Quintessential Q. Follow his writing blog, his letters to strangers blog or his blog blog if you liked the post, or even the bloke himself if this tickled your proverbial pickle.

Like the bloke.

Follow the bloke.

Be the bloke.