Yeah, Well, I Like The Clap
A Round of Applause for Medium

Medium’s changed.
People are clapping instead of gifting green hearts.
From what I’ve read, most people don’t really know what to make of it, or just plain don’t like it.
I like it.
Here’s why:
Back in the day, when I was still figuring out geometry and homework and how the hell Santa was able to deliver so many presents to so many people in 24-hours, I entered a talent show at my primary school. Because I was like totally sick and cool and whatnot, I performed a lip-sync and dance routine of ‘Greased Lightning’ to the school.
At the end of this performance, which was dismal, I received scattered applause from around the school hall.
From one person, five claps. From another, two. A couple in the back corner gave me ten slow ones. Someone cleared their throat twice, but I still counted it.
So to have the experience thrust on me again by an Internet service I have devoted a lot of time to is wonderful indeed. I will be able to continue on with my life of mediocrity, and be rewarded for it with hesitant claps; at least some form of applause.
Other pros and cons:
Pros:
- They haven’t given us the ‘clap’ (gonorrhea).
- It’s an interesting measurement in terms of splitting up the money for the Partner Program. They’ve gotta start somewhere.
- I don’t have to physically slap my hands together to get it to work.
- I can tell Mum I got a round of applause most days I post pieces.
Cons
- I have to tap my screen more, meaning I can’t do it as much for Candy Crush.
- I risk offending people to whom I only give 1–2 claps.
- I have gonorrhea, which is unrelated but still a con.
Matt Querzoli wrote this. He is on antibiotics. Follow him or his randy publication if you liked the post, or even the bloke himself if this tickled your proverbial pickle.

