Richard discovered his housemate’s hair extensions in the bathroom one night after a a big session on the piss. The fright of seeing them draped over the bathtub almost scared him sober.
Pilot Silvia Reynolds didn’t much mind the transition from passenger to cargo shipping during the pandemic. There were far less complaints coming from the cargo.
They’d barely made it into the Mardi Gras party and already Harold had seen more male ass than ever before. He held his girlfriend tighter.
After the deluge, the snail makes its beleaguered dash across the footpath.
Even as the words came rushing out of the physician’s mouth, Dan stared only at the ballpoint pen on the desk, and wondered if by the strength of thought he could transfer his consciousness into the pen and leave his cancer-ridden body behind.
As the sun finally came down on a stinker of an outback day, the three mates veered off the road and gunned their dirt bikes across the dust bowl oval, without a care in the world.
Tiny Miles almost came to blows with his older brother, who’d tried to blow out his candles on his fourth birthday.
Like a pendulum, Ollie went from four Red Bulls a day to the same number of kombuchas. His gut could hardly keep up.
Kristie Crawford once subsisted for a month almost entirely on tinned beetroot. She kept that one in the bank for a future icebreaker activity.
Hilton was diligent and thorough about tracking his calories, though not when they were alive and still walking around the woods. The deer heard him cock the rifle and bounded away before it had the chance to become his dinner.
Man and dog hurled themselves into the glassy ocean pool with gusto, both seizing the day like an epileptic having an episode.
Aurora Cruz didn’t cry when she was born. Well, not immediately. She took a bleary-eyed look around, taking stock of this world she’d emerged into, and then having decided it wasn’t worth her time, attempted to climb back into the womb.
The broken umbrella was discarded near Botany in the storm; it ended up in Breakfast Point after a hop, a skip and many, many jumps.
Indeed, for the entire 40km section of road works, there was no one on the tools. The crawl of a speed limit still applied though, which enraged the motorists.
‘Yeah the boys!’ cried the men, as they sat back on night two of their long weekend away, in front of a fireplace and cheeseboard, and simultaneously applied their face-masks without spilling a single drop of wine.
In the eye of the storm, a Scottish man whispers ‘Aye’ and tees off.