I Am a Failure, Tina

by Peter Davis

When watching TV, when watching a DVD, when listening to a CD,
when carefully considering questions of religion and philosophy,
I am a failure.
The mirror always sees failure.
Petting a dog or rubbing her behind her ears, I fail badly.
When I whistle, I fail as a whistler.
Taking an elevator, escalator, or bus, my failure is obvious.
When eating candy and cake and ice cream, I am a dessert failure.
Remembering happy moments from elementary school, I am failing.
This failing comes easy.
It actually feels good because it’s so easy.
I was touching another human’s cheek, in a tender manner, and I was failing.
I was stating that I was a failure, failing.
When I was failing, I was a failure.
When I was considering the cartoon? Failing.
Holding a bottle? Failing.
Wearing my glasses? Really failing.
Walking through the grass is a type of failure.
Changing my clothes I really feel like a failure.
The way I fail at each spectacular moment is breathtaking. I look at these moments in a failing way.
I love them in a failing manner.
Using a hammer or an electric drill.
Reading a newspaper.
When I take a bath in my kids’ bath water, I don’t get as clean as I could. I am a hygienic failure.
I am really failurish.
When I find certain definitions, I am failing in a dictionary sort of way.
All this failure is moving along as planned.
The failure is written into the text.
I am trying to change this sense of failure, but I am
not having much success.
I feel like a failure often.
Sometimes, even all alone with my thoughts, I feel like a failure.
No matter how many failures I don’t have, or have,
I am a failure.
If I have some success, I am still a failure.
If I am told that I am not a failure, I am still a failure.
I am always failing because I cannot succeed.
I can succeed and still I fail.
I can win the race and still fail.
I am a failure regardless of what place I get.
I am a failure in every race.
When I sleep at night, I sleep as a failure.
Even if magazines and television programs proclaim
me a success, I am a failure.
When I achieve something, I have failed.
When I accomplish a goal, I fail.


TINA (Bloof, 2013)