Why your Name Matters
Whether you want to believe it or not your name matters. If you don’t take my word trust Dale Carnegie. He is the author of one of the most successful leadership and sales books in history “How to Win Friends and Influence People”. Dale says “Remember that a person’s name is to that person the sweetest and most important sound in any language.”
I don’t think Carnegie’s theory is shocking to anyone, but I don’t think the reasons are necessarily straightforward. One underlying theme that I see is most seat their name with a deeper meaning. We intrinsically ask ‘why?’, with the axiom that our name holds some deeper value than a phonetically pleasing string of 3–11 letters. Some of us find answers to this question. Many are named after a prominent individual in history, an extraordinary athlete, an honorary friend, a patriarch, an influential religious figure, or it may even be some more esoteric reasoning that the individuals who choose the name may not even fully understand themselves. Not being a psychologist I can’t say whether those categories matter, but knowing human nature — once something is assigned meaning it is very difficult to let go. Our name is one of our first gifts and we treasure it.
Now with that said, I feel like the journey of my name was bit more complicated than that… I can see how that is true for a lot of people, but I never understood Carnegie. My name was never my name. It was my dad’s name and I was simply borrowing it. Now with that said it didn’t mean, I did not treasure it.
Lower
My name, Gary Mazzone Peters, has had a variety of different meanings throughout different periods in my life. When I was very young, my first name was the focus — Gary. It was the name my parents had given me. I was also my dad’s name and my dad was named after a movie star who was featured in old westerns during the 1930s-1940s. But, even as a child, I grew to know its uniqueness. Gary is a very old name, and relatively dated in American culture.
Middle
By the time I was in middle school I started to focus on my first and last name Gary Peters. I found it interesting. The name was so unique, but at the same time sounded so plain. So banal. So American. And at the time, I felt like I looked and acted like anything but the rest of my American classmates (#ClassicMiddleSchool). Now one aspect of interest — my last name, ‘Peters’. My dad, Gary Peters, changed his last name. I found that out in middle school. He wouldn’t tell me from what. He just said his father wasn’t a nice man, so he changed it. As a middle school child, you take that comment in stride not thinking of what the surrounding circumstances could be.
Upper
Now in High School, as a true angsty teenager, Gary M Peters starts to emerge. The ‘M’ came into play because… ‘Gary Jr’ — Even now it still feels like nails on a chalkboard. In my mind I would have a harsh retort, ‘I am not a Jr I am my own MAN! We are completely different! We even have different middle names!’’. Oh, High School… I hope this angsty, insecure behavior is typically for all high schoolers.
Nonetheless at some point, one of these items I was rebelling against started to click. Turns out I was Gary Peters, meaning I was Gary Peters son, meaning I must know business, economics, wall street, banks…. (#recursion). Well part of me wanted to rebel against this (like everything related to my parents), but luckily vanity got the best of me. I realized I knew nothing on the subject, but I quickly realized my parents did, specifically my Father. This was quite shocking at the time, I was surprised to learn that there was those older I could learn from… even in my infinite wisdom as a high school kid. So in high school, I started a lifelong journey of curiosity into the world of business. Marking the first steps of burgeoning relationship with my father, not as a man to a child, but as one man to another man.
College
In College my focus was Gary Mazzone Peters. I was seeking individuality while exploring my Italian roots. Also, especially towards the end of my time at Vanderbilt, I was not afraid to start embracing the identity of being my Father’s son. The relationship that was just starting in high school started to come into full fruition. It was very different knowing my dad from man-to-man, versus the perspective of a child. I started to appreciate his wisdom, not just in business, but in life.
Post
Post College, this is the first time I really understood who my dad was, and had the itch to know him better. I started to see how all the different lessons from my life start to culminate and represent themselves into my understanding of the great man I learned my Father to be — He was a strong self-made man. He never had a father who he could turn too and that instilled in my Father a desire to impart as much of his wisdom to his sons as possible. Also, always needing to support himself, he had no other choice than to learn not only business but the business of people.
Now, I originally started my post Post College career in an industry that I was so boring, that even on the best of day’s I would just try to spare people from asking me the inevitable ‘How was work?’. Now I will say this spurred me to further pursue my passions and specifically my passion for business, and that in turn lead me to startups. True entrepreneurship. This also led me to discover so much more about my father and his work as an intrapreneur and entrepreneur regardless of the industry. His knowledge extends well outside of business, and truly focuses more on the business of people. It is still an ongoing journey that I am glad to be a part of, and so honored to still be exploring with him.
As far as my name is concerned, the focus is now on GP. This is what my Father has always used in the world of business. I am not sure if I am quite yet ready to dawn the name in ubiquity, so outside of email correspondence, I am still just Gary Mazzone Peters.
Conclusion
So with all of that said, and to tie back to the reason I started this article. I am not sure if Gary is ‘the sweetest sound in any language’. To be honest I still think the name ‘Gary’ is a bit outdated. BUT, when I hear the name Gary, Gary Peters, or GP I do not think of me. Rather I think of my Father. It is his name and I simply have the honor of sharing it with him. It makes me strive to be more like the great man that he has become and I excited for the opportunity to do so.
Happy Father’s Day Father Man,
Sincerely,
Son
