GORMLESS PATS FAN GETS GRASS CUT

Mate Scores Touchdown 🏈

Everyone knows Patriots fans are the smarmiest, whitest, dip-shittest, most entitled bunch in football, but a recent incident underlines how feckless they can be.
Seems one beaded “Patriot” went all Paul Revere and took a midnight ride on his best mate’s missus.
In a mournful public post the cuckolded dimwit admitted he at first thought nothing when he heard his wife moaning.
“We always sleep in separate rooms after a loss. She withholds,” he whined, pathetically assuming we would give a fuck.
“She sometimes loudly self pleasures to rub it in, but this was… different,” he added, thankfully giving no extra detail of his shit sex life.
Next morning he investigated further, discovering silver paint on his wife’s pillow, sheets, towel and did he have to mention it?.. landing strip.
“It was the limited edition TB Five Rings Glitter Face Paint. The only bloke I know who has some is my best friend and neighbour, Clint.”
The useless prick then appealed for help about what to do. And copped the truckload of social derision he deserved.

The Raw Prawn is not aware of the id of the cheating fan but this fat cunt would have to be a suspect.

More to come. 🍤