Authors at Home: Farhad J. Dadyburjor, “The Other Man”
We’re thrilled to have Farhad J. Dadyburjor, one of Mumbai’s most popular and prolific entertainment journalists, on Authors at Home today! Dadyburjor’s new novel, The Other Man, is quite possibly the first gay rom-com set in modern-day Mumbai to be published internationally. It is an affirmation of love and happy endings on one’s own terms. Dadyburjor shared with us what he’s reading, what he’s working on, and what he’s doing when he’s not reading or writing. Check it out.
What are you currently reading, watching, listening to? Anything you wholly recommend as being inspiring, uplifting or just really fun?
I’ve gone back to reading Inside Story which is Martin Amis’s recent semi-fictional memoir. I’d started it a while back and then put it down for a few months. Although it can be considered “life writing,” which seems to be the genre du jour nowadays, this one is brilliant and maddening at the same time because it also includes certain fictional bits — all left up to the reader to sift and decode what’s true and what’s not. It’s inspiring in its advice to writers, its pen portraits of literary heavyweights like Saul Bellow, Philip Larkin and good friend Christopher Hitchens, and while it does have its moments of pathos, it also is jocular in many instances. All written with some of the most finely worded sentences that leave a staggering impact.
In music, I’ve started discovering the sounds of newer artists like Dua Lipa which are fun and frothy — perfect background scores for Instagram stories.
Can you take us through the day in the life of Farhad J. Dadyburjor? What’s your day-to-day routine like — when you’re writing a book, and when you’re not?
The two things that remain constant whether I’m writing a book or not are rising late and sleeping late. For me, the night is when my creative juices get flowing; in the still, late hours, sometimes working till three or four a.m. There’s just a calmness, a soothing quality that comes with the night that the harsh light of day never brings. I’ve tried very hard to be a morning person but it just leaves me miserable and grumpy. The rest of my hours are filled with much scrolling on social media (can anyone escape the grasp of Instagram?), editing articles for the luxury magazine I manage, some reading, some Netflix/Amazon Prime, sometimes a walk on the Bandra sea face promenade, and many snack breaks in between.
What a great segue into this next question! Speaking of snacks, what is your favorite food? Your go-to drink?
Chocolate is food for the soul. Whenever I’m feeling low, just reaching for some soft-centered gooey truffles changes everything — the sun suddenly shines out of nowhere. That’s one thing you will always find in my fridge. My go-to drink would be cold coffee, desperately needed with the sweltering heat we are currently facing in Mumbai.
Are you working on any projects that we should look out for in the future?
For the moment I’m relishing all the love that is being showered on The Other Man by bloggers and journalists. I do think there’s more that can be written about the love story between Ved and Carlos, their next chapter, so to speak, but let’s see…
When you’re not writing fiction, what are you working on?
My day job of editing a luxury magazine. I’ve been a journalist for over twenty years, having covered entertainment and lifestyle for several newspapers and magazines. I love the immediacy of journalism, the topicality of subjects one can cover, and the discipline it sets in you when it comes to meeting deadlines (which also greatly helps when writing a book).
What is one big message you want readers to take away from The Other Man?
That love works like magic once it comes into your life. That it binds us all, irrespective of age, gender, caste or nationality. I hope this book opens the door to many more happy LGBTQ romcoms from India that fill readers with hope, make them feel good inside and most importantly, leave them with a sense of empowerment.
In the book, there is a discussion about how the internet and dating apps changed the lives of queer people in India. How do you think these have contributed toward the overall movement for LGBTQ+ rights and the abolition of Section 377?
It was really difficult to connect with other gay men before the apps came about. Either you had to strike up a conversation in the midst of a party (with loud blaring dance music overshadowing all else) or go to some of the cruising spots, many of which were quite seedy. Dating apps normalized the whole process of dating for men and helped them meet other gay men either as friends or as boyfriends. It also helped bring about a greater exchange of information, and made gay men far more comfortable in their skin.
You write about the “cost of normalcy” in your book. In what ways do you think this cost has changed since the overturning of Section 377 and where do you think there is room for improvement?
There’s been a lot of change in the last three years since Section 377 was abolished. For one, there’s far more positive representation of LGBTQ people in the media, with even fashion magazines like Vogue India putting a lesbian couple on its cover. Several corporate houses have started including policies that are LGBTQ-friendly. The Indian film industry has started making more realistic gay content, with the first Bollywood gay romcom having come out a year ago. Just recently, a leading bank announced that gay partners could open an account together with the partner being the second nominee. And one sees the fashion world being far more accepting of trans models. While of course there are several issues that still need to be tackled, like same-sex marriages, steps are being in that direction.
How did writing this book help you come to terms with any of your past experiences?
What a lot of people may not know is that on a deeply personal level, the book is a love letter to a similar relationship I had in the past.
What advice would you give to young people or people who are in situations similar to that of Ved’s?
Speak up for what you believe in, fight for who you love and never apologize for feeling the way you do. It might be hard to come out, but once you do you’ll realize the toxic shackles you were living with and find it a blessing in disguise. That’s the only way to live your best life. Because it is only after you learn to truly love yourself, can you love somebody else.
If this book were made into a movie, who would you want to star in it?
This is a tough one to answer. Instead, let’s wait and watch!
Book Summary:
Heir to his father’s Mumbai business empire, Ved Mehra has money, looks, and status. He is also living as a closeted gay man. Thirty-eight, lonely, still reeling from a breakup, and under pressure from his exasperated mother, Ved agrees to an arranged marriage. He regrettably now faces a doomed future with the perfectly lovely Disha Kapoor.
Then Ved’s world is turned upside down when he meets Carlos Silva, an American on a business trip in India.
As preparations for his wedding get into full swing, Ved finds himself drawn into a relationship he could never have imagined — and ready to take a bold step. Ved is ready to embrace who he is and declare his true feelings regardless of family expectations and staunch traditions. But with his engagement party just days away, and with so much at risk, Ved will have to fight for what he wants — if it’s not too late to get it.
About Farhad:
Born and based in Mumbai, Farhad J. Dadyburjor has been an entertainment & lifestyle journalist for more than twenty years. He has written for many publications and held several senior editorial positions, including at DNA newspaper, as launch editor at the international men’s magazine FHM, and currently at The Leela magazine. He also has a popular blog of his own, My Good Life, in which he covers food, travel, culture and fashion.
His debut novel, How I Got Lucky (published by Penguin Random House), was a satire on India’s celebrity culture that was hailed as “racy, sexy, and riotous” by Vogue India. The Other Man is his American fiction debut and most likely the first gay rom-com that is set in modern day Mumbai.
He loves dogs, enjoys swimming in his spare time, and is out and proud.
Connect with Farhad:
Website
Lifestyle blog
Instagram
Twitter
Discover more Authors at Home:
Ian K. Smith
Hayley Krischer
Robert Dugoni
Cai Emmons
Emily Giffin
