The Reckless Muse
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The Reckless Muse

Whoopi Goldberg Is An Idiot, But She Shouldn’t Be Suspended from “The View”

I’m harsh but fair.

Credit: ABC

There’s no full moon as of this writing, but I’m sure there’s still some kind of villainous lunar event taking place. The Vanguards of the New Stupid are especially restless right now, and with nothing gibbous to howl at, they’re turning their crimson cries at us, the Regular Joes too busy figuring out how to keep the lights on and the roofs up to give a leaky fart about race relations.

Case in Point: Whoopi Goldberg.

On a recent episode of The View, Goldberg and her fellow fuckwits Joy Behar, Sunny Hostin, Ana Navarro, and Sara Haines discussed a Tennessee school board’s ban of “Maus,” a nonfiction graphic novel about cartoonist Art Spiegelman’s father’s experience surviving the Holocaust, prompting Goldberg to unleash the full force of her infinite ignorance, saying:

“Let’s be truthful about it because [the] Holocaust isn’t about race. It’s not about race. It’s about man’s inhumanity to man.”

Heh. “Man’s inhumanity to man.” Isn’t that how amateur screenwriters describe their screenplays to impatient producers to sound sophisticated? Being forced to wait 45 minutes to meet the doctor even when you’ve shown up on time for your appointment — now THAT’S “man’s inhumanity to man.” The Holocaust is… quite a bit worse.

Goldberg is fundamentally wrong here, but it is The View, whose hosts’ collective IQ isn’t quite in the double-digits. I could forgive her for being ignorant of history, like she is with pretty much every other topic she opines about, but her persistence isn’t so easily ignored; when even the other shit-for-brains hosts — Navarro, Hostin, Haines, and Behar — tried to correct her, nevertheless Goldberg persisted, like some kind of little engine that could, chugging up the hill of absurdity and ultimately surmounting it.

Navarro followed up with what could’ve been a solid counterargument were it not for the woke-forced white supremacist comment:

“But it’s about white supremacy. It’s about going after Jews and Gypsies and Roma.”

However dumb Navarro’s comment is, Goldberg is determined to out-dumb it, responding with:

“But these are two white groups of people.”

Haines then made a valiant attempt to inject some basic facts into the conversation by pointing out that the Nazis “didn’t see them as white”.

But no, Goldberg isn’t the type to be swayed by things like reason, sanity, and ACTUAL FUCKING HISTORY.

“But you’re missing the point! The minute you turn it into race, it goes down this alley. Let’s talk about it for what it is. It’s how people treat each other. It’s a problem.”

Of course, in the lightspeed momentum of social media, Goldberg’s gargantuan idiocy spread across the world like an angry plague and immediately attracted plenty of justified outrage. To be fair, Goldberg soon followed up with what I think is a well-written apology, seen here:

This whole debacle could’ve died right then and there of malnutrition if we’d refrained from feeding it the attention it craved. But down here in the mud and blood of an unforgiving culture war of attrition, controversy begets controversy. And so this whole thing kept crawling around like a T-800 that’s been blown in half. Goldberg went on The Late Show with Stephen Colbert to attempt to clarify her comments and get the damage under control, but she decided to let her brain-fuckery put on a strip show for the world to watch.

“It upset a lot of people, which was never ever, ever, ever my intention. I thought we were having a discussion… because I feel, being Black, when we talk about race it’s a very different thing to me, so I said that I felt that the Holocaust wasn’t about race.”

It’s the typical woke tactic to fight reality with “lived experience;” because Goldberg has a personal definition of race, it must be accepted by all as a matter of course with no room for dissenting or differing interpretations.

Her inanity continues:

“But I thought it was a salient discussion because, as a Black person, I think of race as being something that I can see. So I see you and I know what race you are, and the discussion was about how I felt about that.”

There are countless people whose outward appearances don’t perfectly describe their race or ethnicity, which means Goldberg is essentially celebrating a form of prejudice as something that just goes along with modern everyday life, like handshakes and letting women exit the elevator first. She sees no problem in grafting her own warped idea of race onto an atrocity from decades ago, which she happily doubles down on in her Colbert interview:

“I was saying, ‘You can’t call this racism, this was evil. This wasn’t based on the skin. You couldn’t tell who was Jewish, they had to delve deeply to figure it out.’”

And then, as if Goldberg couldn’t find new ways to make herself look brainless, she puts on her Edison hat and just fucking invents one, this time in the form of making up history to justify the emptiness of her skull; when Colbert asked if Goldberg had now accepted that the Nazis saw Jews as a race, Goldberg pushed back with:

“The Nazis lied, it wasn’t. They had issues with ethnicity, not with race, because most of the Nazis were white people and most of the people they were attacking were white people. So to me, I’m thinking, ‘How can you say it’s about race if you are fighting each other?’”

It’s yet another attempt by Goldberg to contort and violate and cheapen the events of the Holocaust to prove herself an expert of the deepest and darkest depravities of man. She truly believes that Nazi leaders got into a huddle and said, “Ok, here’s the plan: we’re gonna tell the world that this whole Holocaust thing is about race, but it’s really about ethnicity, got it?” There’s no truth to her words, but there’s plenty of confidence.

To make sure that the audience finishes watching her Colbert interview with the taste of used condoms and sweaty dingleberries in our mouths, Goldberg goes the woke way and turns her empathy into self-absorption as, in the middle of deflecting responsibility for her fuckwit remarks, she makes the controversy about herself.

“I understand that not everybody sees it that way and that I did a lot of harm, I guess, to myself.”

Here are Goldberg’s takeaways from her stern and senseless words:

  • “I disagree with history.”
  • “My hyper-personal definition of race isn’t accepted by everyone else for some reason.”
  • “I’m the real victim here.”

That’s some real growth right there, Whoopie. You have the emotional maturity of an aborted fetus and you want everyone to know it.

Why Whoopie Goldberg Shouldn’t Be Suspended

I know I’ve been viciously critical of Goldberg so far, and yet there’s still a bit of mercy and nuance to be found underneath the bile and venom that fills my thoughts on the matter. Just enough to have her back, but only a little.

Our culture is too vindictive and needs to calm the fuck down

It’s the symptom of a sick and unenlightened society when its citizens automatically demand restitution for offensive words not even directed at them.

I totally agree that Goldberg’s words were phenomenally mindless and offensive to those who perished during the Holocaust, and that her ideas about the Holocaust should be beaten into a pulp and their faces ground into the gravel.

However, we still must rise above the animal urge to get back at everyone who reveals their lunacy at the top of their lungs. There are other options at our disposal besides demanding that someone lose their job and have their lives ruined over something like this. Goldberg was clearly speaking from a place of monumental ignorance (not good if you’re the host of a major TV show), and clearly not from a place of malice.

She should be criticized. She should be corrected. But isn’t that extreme humiliation punishment enough? It may be too much to ask to respond to her comments with pity, but is it too much to respond to her comments with ridicule or even indifference? Turn off The View and rob them of your attention. Low ratings will do the “canceling” for us.

Goldberg let her emotions dictate her thinking on the subject of the Holocaust and race; let’s not make the same mistake on the matter of her historical illiteracy.

People deserve second chances, even scoundrels and morons

While hanging out in the insane asylum of Twitter and experiencing the firehose of volume and fury, I stumbled upon a tweet from one of my favorite people to follow:

Angel Eduardo’s point is a good one, but it lacks the savagery that typifies my writing, so allow me to reimagine his declaration with a little more sledgehammer force and whisky polish:

If you think a public figure should be silenced, deplatformed, or fired for something they said.

Then show us your atonement for every joke you’ve taken too far.

Every sloppy statement you’ve ever made.

Every time you lost your cool and said what you were really thinking in the heat of the moment.

Quit your job and give it to someone less “problematic” than you.

THEN you can demand others be shamed, silenced, and removed from the public eye.

But until then and ONLY then, keep your self-righteous shit-brained demands to yourself.

None of us are innocent of committing the social sin of Saying the Wrong Thing, not even the folks calling for her to get canned. Whatever animosity I feel towards Goldberg’s comments on race and the Holocaust, I still think she deserves a second chance, the second chance that I know each and every one of us would want if we were in the unfortunate situation of having the world witness our momentary shortcoming.

We learn nothing from public figures who’ve had their careers ruined

Except that if you say the wrong thing then all of Twitter will rip your reputation to shreds like a pack of starving piranhas until it’s nothing but a skeleton floating in the water.

Goldberg’s remarks — as dimwitted as they were — could’ve been the perfect springboard for an important conversation about the tragedies of the past, a necessary reminder of the mass barbarity that’s inevitable when we focus too much on each other’s immutable characteristics. And in an age that’s addicted to identity and bulldozing the past in service of politics, we need lessons on the dangers of race-based ideology more than ever.

However, Goldberg’s suspension has shoved these vital messages into the sewer and has become the main subject of articles, tweets, and water cooler conversations. It’s a distraction from a deeper and more imperative discussion that needs to be had. But goddammit we’ve got a massive boner from the mere thought of vengeance against a celebrity — time to bring ourselves to climax and pull the Time-Out Trigger!

Maybe Goldberg is a singular case of this kind of rabid ignorance, and that her incomprehension of history is merely the result of fame, fortune, and existing in the hyper-progressive hivemind of the entertainment industry. Give me a million dollars and put me in a gated community in Beverly Hills, and I’ll happily forget my own last name.

But with the fights taking place in our public schools and books being banned at an alarming rate, my fear is that Goldberg isn’t the only one treating the past like something malleable that bends to our feelings and political leanings.

One of history’s greatest teachings had a chance to reassert itself, and it got replaced with a story whose moral amounts to little more than “if you say bad things, the public won’t like you anymore.”

Exit Rant

On his show, conservative commentator Ben Shapiro recently called for Whoopi Goldberg to be canned entirely from her gig as Jackass With A Mouth despite being a fierce critic of cancel culture. I understand where he’s coming from: if Disney is going to fire its conservative stars for offensive words (Rosanne, for a racist joke about Valerie Jarrett, and Gina Carano, for provocative social media posts about COVID-19), then it should also fire its progressive stars for offensive words.

Shapiro has a fair point about these double standards, but this cycle of destroying a prominent public figure’s career for a handful of thoughtless utterances has to end somewhere. If we continue letting this happen or, worse, continue supporting it, then this form of reputational capital punishment will never stop, and we’ll all be stuck with the axe of cancellation hanging over our every word.

I freely admit that part of me is thrilled to see Goldberg get her comeuppance, as she was a major contributor to this fragile-yet-vengeful culture, a culture whose open secret fetish is eating one of its own for the slightest misstep. But principles must take the wheel of our actions, and not our angry lizard brains.

Whoopi Goldberg is a high order fuckwit: she never digs below the surface of controversies to see what’s really going on; she’s allergic to nuance and gray areas, always seeing everything through the simple and primordial lens of “us vs. them”; almost every single one of her opinions is nothing more than variation on cheap political slogans; and she constantly fails to look at both sides of an issue, despite her cock-walk confidence in her own vapid views. Watch any episode of The View for Exhibits A through Infinity-and-Counting for substantiation of my claims.

And yet, in a weird and bitter way, I’m still pulling for her to grow from this stinking chapter of the Culture War. I’m pulling for her to take the ego-blow and learn how to think before sharting from the mouth.

Cancellation, whatever the hell that word means, is a rotten tool to wield in a war of ideas. It’s common sense to not bring a knife to a gunfight, but nobody talks about the ethics of bringing a nuclear bomb to a chess game.

Our ideas should be doing the fighting, but thinking has become a chore in an age when everything is spoon-fed to us with an emotional massage, so we resort to simply removing our opponents from the board and banning them from future matches. And of course, the banished players will retaliate in kind, and the battle rages on.

Remember, fighting fire with fire always leads to scorched earth.

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