5 Tips for Building Authentic Connections in Everyday Conversations
Tips for Building More Transparent and Vulnerable Connections
“The greatest gift you can give someone is your honest self. In return, you will receive a wealth of knowledge and meaningful conversation.”
~ Mark Twain
Do you ever feel like your conversations with friends, family, and even strangers are lacking in authenticity, transparency, and vulnerability? Well, you’re not alone. It’s common to struggle with connecting on a deeper level in everyday life.
But what if I told you that it is possible to create more meaningful and trustworthy connections in your life? In this blog post, I’ll share some top tips for how to be more authentic in your conversations.
Be the change you want to see.
If you want more authenticity, transparency, and vulnerability from others, you need to be the one to initiate it. Often, when people want more authenticity in their relationships, they look to others to lead the way. The more you lead by example and demonstrate the type of connection you want to have, the more likely others will follow suit. Let people know it’s okay to be more of themselves with you because being vulnerable and opening up about yourself can feel risky.
Ask more interested questions.
You never have to have a boring conversation again. To have more interesting conversations, you need to get more interested in the people you’re talking to. Every person has a unique life experience, and it’s up to you to get interested in their stories. Ask questions that help them come alive and reveal more about themselves rather than putting the onus on them to perform and entertain you.
Remember, it’s not for everyone
While it’s important to take the lead in creating authentic connections, it’s equally important to respect other people’s boundaries. Even with my love for Authentic Relating, there are days when I simply don’t want to talk about my feelings. If you’re role-modelling more openness and asking genuinely interested questions and the other person isn’t opening up, that is absolutely valid. it’s important to honour their wishes and not push them into a situation they’re not comfortable with. Authentic Relating is about creating a safe space for people to be themselves, not forcing them to do so.
Use the five practices
If you’re ever in doubt about how to create an authentic connection, come back to the five practices of Authentic Relating: welcome everything, assume nothing, reveal your experience, own your experience, and honour self and honour other. By following these practices, you’ll be able to build more trustworthy and meaningful connections. These practices serve as a framework for navigating your relationships with yourself and others and provide a clear guide for how to create a safe and meaningful connection. Start by welcoming everything and that includes welcoming people exactly as they are with the skills and the ways of communicating that they have. The more that I have tried to change people to get them to relate to me in a way that I want, the more resistance there is — unsurprisingly! As soon as I can show other people the compassion and acceptance that I would love from them, then things often change, but not always.
Practice, practice, practice
Authentic Relating is an embodied practice that requires just that — practice. Just attending a workshop or a training is not enough; you need to practice and you need to actively apply the skills in your everyday life. Practice means opportunities when it is okay to make mistakes and you can calibrate to the edge of your learning zone. Find time to be in practice mode with a friend or go to a class. The more you practice, the more familiar and comfortable you’ll become with your skills and yourself, allowing you to use them to create more meaningful connections in your life.
Check out opportunities to learn more and to practice with ART.
In conclusion, creating authentic connections in your everyday life takes effort and practice, but the rewards are well worth it. By being the change you want to see, asking more interested questions, respecting other people’s boundaries, coming back to the five practices, and actively practising, you can create deeper, more meaningful connections with those around you. So, go out there and start creating the conversations you want today.
Originally published at https://vixanderton.com on February 13, 2023.
