Embrace Experience: Moving Beyond Book Learning
“We don’t learn from experience. We learn from reflecting on experience.” ~ John Dewey
I hate to break it to you, but you can’t learn everything from books.
Now, before you throw your favourite self-help guide across the room in protest, hear me out. I’m no stranger to the world of self-development and I am a self-confessed bibliophile. Over the years, I’ve devoured countless self-help tomes that promise to unlock the secrets of success and happiness. And while those books have undoubtedly enriched my mind, I’ve come to realise that there’s more to learning than just absorbing words from a page.
Let’s get to the crux of it. Book learning is fantastic for introducing you to new concepts and broadening your horizons. Books can light the spark of inspiration and get our minds buzzing with possibilities. But when it comes to truly mastering a new skill or transforming the way we do things, there’s something more that we need: experience, practice, and embodiment. Think about it this way — you can’t become an expert swimmer just by reading a manual on swimming techniques. You need to jump into the water, flail around a bit, and gradually refine your strokes through practice. It’s the same with any kind of learning.
I’m sure you’ve been down the path of reading a fantastic book, gaining a whole bunch of insights, only to find that those insights don’t automatically translate into tangible change. That’s where experiential learning steps in. It’s all about embracing the power of doing, of repeating, of making those new practices a part of who we are.
I’ve walked this path myself, and it’s a journey that’s taught me a lot. Take the concept of cyclical living, for instance. I’ve been intrigued by cycles for quite some time. It all started with Dan Pink’s book “When,” which really got my gears turning. Then I delved into menstrual cycle awareness, devouring works like “Wild Power” by Alexandra Pope and Sjanie Hugo Wurlitzer of Red School fame. These books were chock-full of brilliant ideas that I could apply to my life and I benefited from them, for sure.
But the turning point came when I decided to take the plunge into the Menstruality Leadership Programme last year. This experience was a game-changer. It wasn’t just about reading and nodding in agreement; it was about actively participating in exercises, reflecting on my journey, and engaging with a community of like-minded souls. That’s when I truly felt the embodiment of cyclical living-the way I approached life, thought about it, and lived it changed in ways I could never have achieved through reading alone.
And it’s not just cyclical living; the same has been true for authentic relating which is, by its very nature, relational. It thrives on interaction with others, on the practice of engaging authentically with fellow human beings.
You see, the magic lies in the act of doing, in immersing ourselves in practice alongside others who are on the same journey. As someone who used to consider themselves a “lone wolf,” I’ve discovered the immense value of being part of a community, of learning and growing collectively. The wisdom of a group is something unparalleled, and it’s incredibly humbling to be a part of it. It’s tempting for perfectionists and overachievers to go solo. The allure of self-improvement through solitary study is strong, but here’s the twist — learning with others is invaluable. The shared experiences, the collective wisdom, the camaraderie — they all contribute to a richer, more profound learning journey. It’s in these spaces of shared practice that you shed the belief that you’re alone in your challenges. The growth happens when you’re surrounded by kindred spirits who offer support and insights that books can’t replicate.
I get it-we’re often drawn to the safety and convenience of solo learning. Reading a book in the comfort of our own space feels reassuring, but there’s a challenge there: it’s easy to skim over the tough bits, the parts that challenge us or make us uncomfortable. On the other hand, engaging in experiential learning with others requires us to confront those discomforts, embrace change, and dive into the messy, beautiful process of transformation. It’s in those challenging, sometimes awkward, and beautifully transformative moments that you evolve.
The next time you’re tempted to dive into another online course or bury yourself in a stack of books, pause for a moment. Ask yourself: Is it just more knowledge you’re seeking? Or is it an experience that will truly shift your perspective and change the way you live? Is knowledge enough, or is there something deeper that you’re seeking? Could it be that you’re craving an environment that nurtures experiential learning, that allows you to dive into practices with fellow learners?
Believe me, this isn’t just about the offerings I have-although I’d be thrilled if you joined me on my journey. This is about a universal truth that transcends the boundaries of what I do. It’s about seeking out collaborations, forming study groups, engaging in listening partnerships, or even just having a buddy to discuss a book with. It’s about bridging the gap between intellectual understanding and true, lived experience.
And as I sign off, remember this: stay curious, my friends. Embrace the journey of embodying knowledge, of weaving it into the fabric of who you are. Let’s keep learning, growing, and sharing our experiences, for that’s where the real magic happens.
Share your thoughts, experiences, and questions in the comments below. Have you found moments where book learning fell short? Or instances where reflecting on your experience brought profound change?
Originally published at https://vixanderton.com on August 25, 2023.
