WKU Basketball: Assessing the Adversary — Troy Trojans

I wanted to use a Slim Shady quote here, but APPARENTLY our resident memeoligist Mr. Jared Rosdeutscher already used one in his latest piece. But you know, I think we need a little controversy. It just feels so empty without me.

Your least favorite Towel Rack writer is back to talk about basketball (sort of) and make jokes at the expense of the state of Alabama and Troy State University.

So let’s get to it! Here’s a look at Troy State University. (Side note: They were called Troy State University until they dropped “State” in 2005. Based on how much most schools hate when people use the wrong name, It’s how I’ll refer to them throughout this piece)

• Location: Troy ALABAMA (read in your best Forrest Gump voice)
• Student Population: Approx. 18,086
• Endowment: $104.4 million
• Motto: Educate the mind to think, the heart to feel, and the body to act
• Mascot: T-Roy the Trojan
• Number of Alumni that hated Alabama so much that they literally went to outer space to get away from it: 3
• Famous Alumni: DeMarcus Ware and a spaceship load of Astronauts

Aside from producing the one of the most terrifying sack machines ever to play football in Ware, Troy also graduates an unreasonable amount of astronauts. Seriously, some graduates hated Alabama so much that they weren’t content with moving out of Alabama, the South, or even the United States, they had to leave Earth.

In performing my research for this article I found that Troy, Alabama and Troy State University were so ordinary and pleasant (the campus is pretty and the town is picturesque) that I thought my only jokes were going to be based around comparing the Trojans of Troy State to the famous contraceptive brand. That was until I discovered the history of their nickname, the Troy Trojans.

Once upon a time, Troy State had a chancellor who hated the university so much that he tried to make them a low rent version of the University of Alabama, his alma mater. He chose the nickname the “Red Wave,” which seriously sounds like a Chinese knockoff of the Crimson Tide. It took Troy State 42 years to correct this.

The story of how they finally chose the Trojan moniker it also quite amazing: The set up is a story of a football team who departs Troy without a name (see that imagery there?) and the morning before the football game the students met to decide on a new nickname and settled on the Trojans! Hooray! Then, inspired by their incredible new nickname, filled with pride for Troy State University, the mighty Trojans battled Louisiana Monroe to a…..15–15 tie.

Hooray?

The worst part about all of this? It took them 86 years to finally come up with the nickname the “Trojans” even though the town of TROY had been in Alabama SINCE 1843???? SERIOUSLY? HOW DOES IT TAKE YOU ALMOST A CENTURY TO NAME YOUR SCHOOL’S MASCOT AFTER THE WARRIORS OF THE CITY YOUR LITTLE TOWN WAS NAMED AFTER?! If that doesn’t demonstrate how slow the people of Alabama are I don’t know what does.

Blah blah, condom joke, blah blah rubber heads, blah blah all the students are accidents because their parents are from Alabama and don’t know what condoms are. OK. Now that I’ve gotten that out of my system, how bout some actual discussion of their basketball team?

The Trojans

Previously, in addition to the history of the team, I also broke down their performance from last season. Since around a third of the season has been played, I thought it more relevant to talk about their current performance.

Here’s a breakdown:

• 2018–19 Record: 4–5
• KenPom/Sagarin Rankings: 185/223
• Projected Conference Finish: 4th

I’m not going to blow smoke at you and pretend this is a good team. Based on the Sagarin ratings (my particular advanced stat breakdown of choice), the Tops should gain a double digit victory in Diddle on Sunday. This Troy team has only played two power five teams, Pitt and Florida State, and lost both times. Their four wins are over the likes of Fort Valley St. and Central Arkansas. So what do they bring to the table?

The Trojans bring a balanced attack, with four players scoring in double figures. They are led by 6’6” senior forward Jordon Varnado (if they don’t call Varnado the Tornado, shame on them) who is averaging almost 16 points, seven rebounds and two assists per game.

The other leaders are forward Alex Hicks (11 PPG), guard BJ Miller (10 PPG), and forward Javan Johnson (10 PPG). They don’t shoot the ball particularly well (31.8% from deep) and based on who is scoring their points, it looks like they make their living from short range. Their tallest player who has seen any action is 6’8” so good luck with that against Bassey fellas…

Interestingly, their coach, Phil Cunningham has a couple of ties to WKU and Coach Stansbury. From 2000–2012 Cunningham was an assistant coach at Mississippi State, serving as an assistant under Stans and in 2012–13, he was an assistant to then WKU coach Ray Harper.

Hopefully this is a terrible homecoming for him.

What to Watch

Honestly? I’m not sure anymore. The Tops have seemed to play down or up to their opponents this season, so even though the Trojans are by no means good, I have no idea what to expect when they take the floor Sunday.

I firmly believe this game is all about integrating Lamonte Bearden back into the lineup and getting some offensive flow back. It looks like this game is more about what the Tops can put together and not what to watch out for against the Trojans.

If anything, the Trojans are out rebounding their opponents on the year so maybe if they can get the Tops’ big men in foul trouble they can make some noise. I look for the Tops to focus, take care of business, and move on to a rough slate of games at Belmont, against St. Mary’s and the biggest game of the year, Wisconsin.