How One Friendship Changed My Life
Meeting Roya and Ali changed my life. Roya is an 18-year-old from Afghanistan who enjoys taking care of young children in her refugee home, cooking, drinking tea, dancing, and learning German. Her brother Ali is a 15-year-old who enjoys Spanish music, soccer, Bollywood films, and exploring Berlin. I am a 21-year-old, hailing from Northfield, a small town in Minnesota, who enjoys meeting new people and seeing new places.
When our worlds collided, we found unexpected common ground as we learned about one another.
It seems that I always have expectations of people and places before I get to know them, but no expectations could meet the love, kindness, and openness that I experienced the first time I went to a refugee home in Berlin. I surveyed my surroundings as I walked around the school that had been converted into accommodations. Deciding to face my uncertainty of how I would fit in, I sat in the courtyard. At first, I observed men playing soccer on the basketball court. After a few minutes, some curious women came and joined me. They wanted to know where I was from — my country and my life there — just as I wanted to know about theirs. They listened to me talk about my small town with bright-eyes and half-smiles, just as I hung onto their every word. After exchanging information about our hometowns, they asked if I would like any tea, and as a tea-lover, I answered “Yes, please!”
A cup of tea. A beverage that allows these women to demonstrate how important hospitality is to them. That portrays their bravery to create home in a foreign land. That shows how much love and care these women give even after all the suffering they have lived through.
It was beautiful to witness love in the hearts of people who have experienced such destruction and war.
The friends I made at my adopted refugee home showed me the strength and beauty of the human spirit. When it was time for me to go home, Ali and Roya insisted on walking me to the bus station and staying with me until the bus came.
As we waited together, Ali asked me about my favorite type of music, and after I answered, he played me his favorite song. The three of us danced to Spanish music as the summer sun faded into twilight. While laughing at each other’s dance moves, it was clear how comfortable we all felt with one another. When my bus arrived, I embraced them both. It reminded me of the hugs I gave my parents before leaving for Europe —
more like family than friends.
Throughout the summer, Ali and Roya shared stories of life back in Afghanistan. My mind was filled with descriptions of Afghan dishes and sweets that made me want to visit their homeland. Tales of their deeply-rooted Afghan traditions, festivals, and culture portrayed their respect and knowledge for their nation’s history. Stories of frequent visits to family and friends in Afghanistan quickly intertwined with stories of conflicts with the Taliban. I was reminded of all this family had lost and all they still had to go through, as they told me about their journey to Germany, their challenges with learning German, and the pain they felt when thinking of family back in Afghanistan.
To this day I am amazed at how this family made me feel completely welcome in a refugee home, showing such hospitality in a land so different from their own.
Roya and Ali rekindled my hope that —
In the face of great suffering, unexpected friendship is possible because love is stronger than fear.
Photos/Story: Danica Simonet / Editing: Talitha Brauer
Danica Simonet is a college student from the US who is volunteering with Brother’s Keeper International. She is passionate about getting to know refugees and hearing their stories. She hopes others will join her in doing the same.
For more of Danica’s work, check out her interviews with Syrian women in Berlin.
