Opening Hairimonies

Preliminary Hair Standings from Rio 2016

You know how annoyed we get when everyone asks Gabby Douglas about her hair instead of focusing on her abilities? So lame, right?!

Here’s the problem: Some athletes seem to be going out of their way to get us talking about their hair. It’s like A Thing. OK, we give in. (But at least we are equal opportunity hair judgers.)

We present our Preliminary Qualifying Round of the Best Hair at Rio 2016 so far.

(Did we miss anyone? Tweet us your additions and we’ll include them.)


GOLD // Best Overall Hair Ever: Marjory Nyaumwe of the Zimbabwe soccer team. This style keeps her hair out of her face while playing — plus, cool and distracting for opposing players.

SILVER // Best Matchy Matchy Hair: Shelly-Ann Fraser-Pryce has the best color-coordinated hair we have ever seen.

BRONZE // Because We Just Had to: (Janine) Beckie with the good hair, Canadian soccer player.


GOLD // Best Overall Hair: Casey Patterson, USA Volleyballer (tie)

GOLD // Best Overall Hair (and biceps): German Gymnast Marcel Nguyen (tie)

SILVER // We Had No Choice With This One: Ryan Lochte with his new silver do. #silverfox

NOTE TO RYAN: Never post a “during” photo getting your hair done. Srsly.

BRONZE // Best Use of a Man Bun: Brit Gymnast Louis Smith. We don’t always love a man bun, but we’ll make an exception here.

HONORABLE MENTIONS // Best Age-defying Hair: Bob Costas & Al Michaels (tie)

Oh and one last thing … Ricky Fowler.

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