These Smart People Will Clear Up #LochteGate
For you and for Ryan (that pretty, pretty dumb ass)
When news first broke of Ryan Lochte & Co’s reported robbery, I felt something that I actually felt a little bad about at the time: I DID NOT REALLY FEEL THAT BAD for the swimmers. I talked about it with a friend, we both grimaced and said, um, eh, that’s just what… eek, yeah, it happens though… While traveling abroad, her purse had been snatched at knifepoint. A group from my study abroad program had their wallets and Razr phones (no, really, this was a decade ago) taken from them by dudes with MACHETES. It happens. And often, tbh, when you’re being kind of an asshole in a foreign country. And your mom*** is the last person you tell, a decade later when she’ll just smack you on the shoulder and give you A Look.
I know I’m an empathy-less jerk. Or am I??
In a news conference Thursday afternoon, Brazil Civil Police Chief Fernando Veloso reported that Lochte lied. And not only did he lie about getting robbed but it looks like it was him and his crew who were “the bad guys,” allegedly having vandalized a gas station bathroom and gotten in trouble for it. I totally get it, Ry, it’s hard to get reprimanded for doing something wrong. It probably never really happens to you or your swimming bruhs… does it?
Still not quite sure what to make of it? Here are 10 people Tweeting some serious truth who can set the #LochteGate record straight. For you or Ryan Lochte’s dumb ass.
Right? It’s like when I have a super average dream that I go on a movie date with Channing Tatum when I should be having a super hot sex dream about him!!!!
GREAT Q, MIKE.
yup ^^^
Someone get a copy of these articles into Ry’s hands. He’ll need something to read for either the trip back to Brazil if the authorities have their way or the significant, well-deserved amount of time he should be prepared to spend in the doghouse.
***Actually, I guess Billy Bush is the last person you tell.
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