Watch Out for the Wild, Wild West
The spectacle that is Kanye West is back for another turn, and people will be jumping through hoops to justify another visit to gawk at it. Some won’t — and with reason.
In April, there was an introspective published in Vulture following the news that Kanye West and Kim Kardashian’s marriage was ending, entitled “The End of Kimye’s Wild Ride.” The article was a beautifully written and provocative article in of itself, mainly because it tries to convince the reader that the relationship between the legendary rapper-producer and the famed sex symbol influencer was itself beautifully orchestrated and provocative.
After reading it, I was sure that it would be clear to anyone that that couldn’t be further from the truth. The story talks openly about his fanatical, obsessive behavior from the moment he met his future wife — and how Kim salvaged herself (as a brand and businesswoman) during their relationship by integrating him into her world as he so desperately craved.
The article’s closing paragraph reads of Kardashian: “At this point, at the end of this epic relationship, one could more feasibly imagine a Kim presidential run than a Kanye one.”
Especially after Kanye’s own ridiculous run for the White House last fall, I didn’t think take that as much of a compliment.
But what I read as a complete decimation of both halves of the former “power couple” wasn’t the sentiment of the article. Others took it as a clear serenade, similar to what we’ve seen over the last month: more than ever, for every controversy he started since his marriage to Kardashian (and before), Kanye is more loved than even before he entered the relationship.
In a tweet, Vulture summed the story up with another line from the article, right after comparing the couple to Romeo and Juliet, as Kanye has done himself: “As much as theirs was a love story, it was also a story about power.”
Was it?
In 2007, when Graduation came out, the album ruled my life — I would dare say it revolutionized my life. I was 10 at the time, loved hip hop already and had passing familiarity with Kanye before, but it was hard to relate my short life with the drug-analogous, violence and trauma-inspired music that had ruled the genre throughout. Kanye was the first mainstream release I experienced that differed from that.
“…As Kanye prepares to release his next album, DONDA, I’ve seen him take the faith he used to have in himself, and spread it thin…”
Every song on the album was impeccable to me (and virtually, still is) but two songs stood out as my “favorites” then — one was “Homecoming.” (the other was, and still is, “Stronger.”) I had just moved to suburban Atlanta, light years away and completely unlike my native Brooklyn. Kanye’s emotional, inspirational tribute to his hometown came at the exact time I was emotionally torn from the home where everyone, and everything, I wanted in life already was. So I had a somewhat irrational affection for this song.
While undoubtedly a sublime song, “Homecoming” was far from the shining spot on the album, but as flawed as it may be, I can’t imagine my life without this song, at least not without it being likely worse off. I eventually moved on to fall for other songs on the album as I grew older, but listening to that song every now and then still gives me that sense of understanding that I had almost no one to relate with at the time, other than the Kanye and Chris Martin on this song.
Needless to say, I became a Kanye superfan — “stan,” if you will — at this point. There was not a huge, universally-understood love for Kanye at the time, that there would be in just a few years, post-“Heartless.” (This was especially true in Atlanta, even though he was actually born there.) At least from growing up in the hood back in that time, the musical inclination of youth was influenced much more by our parents and cousins, the guys with the tricked-out car with the blaring studio, and the still-revered DJs at the corner block parties — who weren’t playing that much Kanye — than the pop-crossover loving radio and industry of the time that became enamored with him.
All to say, loving Kanye West felt like much more of a niche, unique thing in those days than today’s introspectives from pop culture writers/hip-hop culture visitors may recall. I had literally bonded with people, and chose the people that became my close friends in middle and high school, mainly based on our shared love for Kanye West.
More from The Renaissance: “FEC filings reveal Kanye West has spent over $10 million just to do…this” — Juwan J. Holmes
Even when 808s and Heartbreak came out, and pretty much up until the still mind-blowing Watch the Throne run, the Kanye fan club still seemed like a place most other people didn’t want to publicly associate with, if they were in it at all. Of course, we were younger at that time, but to this day, Kanye’s work and personality from those times embodied everything that me and many others needed to see from someone successful when we were young: the egotistical, prideful, pro-Black, self-righteous individual who had no problem being the complete opposite of what everyone else was into.
The fact is, though, is that Kanye West was never any of those things. He embodied them really well, damn near impeccably, so much so that the embodiment became its own person, the “old Kanye,” who people have believed is real. I did too, at least before the evidence for his inadequacies, insecurities, narcissism, and simple repugnance enveloped in the “new Kanye” mounted too extraordinarily high. Some people think it’s blasphemous or laughable to say that, I know, but as Kanye prepares to release his next album, DONDA, I’ve seen him take the faith he used to have in himself, and spread it thin between the Kardashians, Donald Trump, the Black Christian community, award shows and even a political campaign, all of which just never quite returned enough of it.
I have long stopped being a “stan”, or even a superfan really, of Kanye. That ride ended for me long before his support for Trump and the several controversies and supposed “cancellations” after — in fact, if I needed to pinpoint it, I would say it happened when he married Kim Kardashian. I didn’t always understand why he just became less renown for me, but he did, and by the time all that other stuff came, I had already lost any more interest than passing in the Yeezy universe. When I read the Vulture article, it just sunk in for me. ‘It’ being, the extent of the charade that Kanye has become.
“I’m sure that when all is said and done, Kanye will find himself in a class of people that ‘succeeded‘ no matter how much bullying or lying or conning or grifting along the way was necessary.”
If you look back to the pre-Kim times (the “old Kanye,” if you will), there were three instances where Kanye West (the person, and the brand) was crash-tested in front of the world. The first was 2005, his first major controversy: saying “George Bush doesn’t care about Black people.”
Condemning the President of the United States, on live television, in front of millions, after a devastating disaster gripped the country, was totally unbelievable. That made it so hip-hop. Just as much as the “Cherry Tree” myth cemented the fabled notion that George Washington was one who never lied, Kanye’s outburst in that time cemented his reputation as the unfiltered truthteller. While the moment and way he delivered it was universally considered improper then, what he said and why he said it represented the cruel honestly a legion of people, in need of being heard uncensored, knew and understood. Today, that statement is understood and accepted as fact. Kanye passed the test — in a self-injurious way, sure, but stronger nonetheless.
The second instance is the one most pointed to as the catalyst for Kanye’s transformation — “downfall” to some — in his life and career: the sudden death of his mother, Donda West, in 2007. In the eyes of nearly anyone who interprets Kanye, her death birthed the profound reconstruction he has undertaken. It wouldn’t even be fair to call this a “test,” but an actual crashing in one’s life that would devastate anyone. I don’t think there’s an adequate way to illustrate how the death of a beloved parent contributed to who anyone is — but as for the persona of himself he constructed, the first pillar crumbled from the foundation with it.
The “test” of this moment was 808s and Heartbreak, the opportunity with which Kanye did the most unbelievable thing, and that’s delve further into his work, not only open his wounds but cut them out and use them to win over everyone who saw it — and it worked.
I don’t think I need to rehash the third — his interruption of Taylor Swift’s award acceptance speech at the 2009 VMAs, taking the mic from Swift to say, “Beyoncé had one of the best videos of all time.” For whatever reason, the response to this was the most heinous thing to watch in real time. While how bad his actions were shouldn’t need to be explained, the way he was universally shunned was absurd, even by today’s overblown “cancel culture” responses.
Maybe it was the fact that he was becoming so loved at that time, that made any and every person took the chance to publicly, proudly, unnecessarily shit on him. The President called him a jackass just for the hell of it, for Christ’s sake. All for the cardinal sin of speaking what was, again, clearly the truth of many: The “Single Ladies (Put A Ring On It)” video is one of the most influential and revered music videos of our time, and — Taylor Swift fans withstanding — I don’t know if anyone could even tell you what they were giving her the award for, without searching first.
In that time, early every one of Kanye’s peers (in terms of money or industry) did nothing to defend him. His post-808s and Heartbreak tour with Lady Gaga was cancelled, as was the adoration he had earned. It’s the exact type of moment that makes the people who stand out from the rest of us.
Or breaks them.
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After his George Bush remark, the public lashing gave us the unabashed, unremorseful, keeping it “real” Kanye. The VMAs controversy left us with the unapologetic, unafraid “bad guy” Kanye.
But maybe in the fleeting period right after Kanye’s mother died — and everything else that happened after — is when we got the closest to the foundation of Kanye’s orchestrated self-projection. That’s when the cold, damaged, suffering person was speaking at his loudest, alone and directly into the mic that is the Kanye West we came to know. That time that is now a capsule long left behind; an opening that seems long closed, hidden by big, expensive, absurd redesigns of his image that leaves people so unsure that the same human is at the core of it, people had to divide him into two separate dichotomies.
Which is easier to do than to just simply treat Kanye West as the flawed, talented, harmful human he was, and is.
The Vulture article compiles many snippets of information and details that had come out about Kanye West’s …unhealthy fixation on Kim nearly from the moment he learned of her existence in 2003. Like Romeo and Juliet, this story is framed as artistic, romantic “fate.” Also like Romeo and Juliet, while the story is awestrikingly done, the framing of it is utter bullshit. Kanye sharing how he used to photoshop himself into Kardashian photos and send them to her doesn’t come across as an act of fate, but more of a blaring distress signal.
I’m far from a Shakespearean scholar, so take this as you may, but I think the fact that Romeo and Juliet are two bumbling kids who want out of their unhappy lives, contributes way more to the “fate” they face in the end, than their misunderstood, supposed love. There’s a ton of annotations and interpretations you can make. At some point, someone needs to pull the Occam’s razor out and cut the crap.
Just as there is a thematic link between 808s and Heartbreak to My Beautiful Dark Twisted Fantasy, there is a thematic link between all of Kanye West’s trauma and suffering in life to his repeated choice to give in to his compulsive need to fulfill his fantasies, however beautiful or dark or twisted.
Maybe there’s an irrationally insecure guy deep stuck down there behaving on his deepest held insecurities, jealousies, and desires. He wouldn’t be the first or the last. Maybe there are also accurate depictions of that real person slipping into the projections, meaning Kanye’s long history of bullying anyone that dared to exist in a way he didn’t like (T-Pain is one example that predates almost all of the “excuses” people can pull out for him), his child-like beefs (Taylor Swift; Barack Obama; hell, even South Park), and his weird, mercurial infatuation with those he idolized (Jay-Z; Beyoncé; Donald Trump) are all a really how Kanye meant to treat people.
“Maybe in the fleeting period right after Kanye’s mother died — and everything else that happened after — is when we got the closest to the foundation of Kanye’s orchestrated self-projection.”
Maybe Kanye West is just another traumatized, compulsive individual, and he, like many others, wants to obtain (and at this point, maintain) the stature of the few holy figures in his world — the Steve Jobs and Walt Disneys and Shakespeares he’s always compared himself to — and this current scramble to “perfect” another album (that his legion of current stans will deem impeccable and divine no matter what) is furthering that.
There’s an upcoming documentary, expected to come out in the next year, that can reveal just how much of Kanye West, the human being, has survived since being morphed into an unrecognizable, yet inevitable, product of the cult of personality.
I’m sure no matter what, many people will continue to treat him as a deity that no one is able to comprehend. He’ll release DONDA (eventually), and I’m sure it will be fucking great and even change the lives of people that listen to it. I’m not trying to compel people to do otherwise — but I’m sure people will whine about “cancel culture” or “political correctness” or “haters” or whatever warped reasoning stans have created for their obsession this week.
My obsession over Kanye ended for me when I stopped trying to be the cool kid, or the one that stood out, or the bully, or the perfectly imperfect person, and just… decided to be myself, without revolving myself around other people. I learned something from watching both Kanye’s descent (ascent?) and the kids in school I used to adore or hate over the years. (Well, two things: One, what a shitshow all of that nonsense is. Two…)
No matter what, somewhere, there’s always going to be a circus. The thing is, you don’t have to go and follow it.
The phoenix version of Kanye before us at present has a right to live on, and for the sake of hip-hop, he absolutely should. Strictly musically, so many people will be touched by Kanye, almost certainly for the better. Maybe you’re one of them — but if you, like me, at least try to deal with your issues and don’t invest them elsewhere, don’t end up back in this circus. Take from it what you can and go.
I’m sure that when all is said and done, Kanye will find himself in a class of people that “succeeded” no matter how much bullying or lying or conning or grifting along the way was necessary. He’ll far be alone in that class, and I’d dare to say it’s one of the largest classifications one can find themselves in, especially in this day and age. That’s not to downplay how well he did it, because there are surely not many that would record themselves peeing on a Grammy and not go into hiding for the rest of eternity.
It’s to say that every reason why Kanye West should be failing (which there are many, depending on who you ask) is exactly why he isn’t, and likely won’t ever. You can name a litany of celebrities, entities, or downright evil people in the modern age. Even a cult or a bunch of blockbuster films or the last Presidency. Doing everything wrong has become the best way to make everything right.
It’s not (just) a religion or philosophy or general apathy that you need to get what you want out of life. Doing complete, uncalled-for nonsense may be the secret key to making it in this just-as-nonsensical society. Feel about them as you may, but that’s the reality.
People who are like (or want to be like) Kanye West are willing to take this wild, out of control ride, no matter how clearly dangerous it is. Why? Because it’s special, fear of missing out? Who knows. Even the likes of Jay-Z and Kim Kardashian are quietly re-allying with him just to be around him, everyone else is stuck trying to get out of the way.
If they’re not trying to get on.
Read further: “Reconsidered: Watch The Throne” — Juwan J. Holmes & Paul K. Barnes
