What Turns You On Doesn’t Define Who You Are
It sounds like something Captain Obvious would say, right? But in truth, it’s not that obvious…unless you’re attuned to it. Let me give you an example:
Guilty pleasures. We all have them — those tv shows, movies, songs, and what-have-you that you love, but feel guilty about, because they’re not looked upon favorably. And who collectively decides what is considered a guilty pleasure or not? Our society. Our society arbitrarily decided what was acceptable and what wasn’t.
- You’re no less cultured for loving Rich Kids of Beverly Hills.
- Your brain cells are just as in tact watching Keeping Up With the Kardashians.
- You still live an amazing life even if you love Justin Bieber as a 40 year-old.
- You’re no less trashy for loving those romance and erotica novels.
What you like does not define who you are.
So what does this have to do with things that turn us on? Everything.
We have fantasies and desires that turn us on like no other. Your desires do not define who you are.
- Fantasizing about a rape fantasy does not lessen the severity of your past sexual abuse experiences.
- (Women) Desiring to submit to a man does not make you any less of a feminist.
- (Men) Desiring to submit to a woman does not make you any less masculine.
- Being attracted to a much older person does not mean you have mommy/daddy issues.
- Being turned on by sadism doesn’t mean you’re secretly a closeted domestic abuser.
I could go on and on. Why? Because I’ve heard from countless men and women how much they feel guilty for fantasizing about the things that turn them on. They feel like they shouldn’t like what they like, because it’s “not right”. Who, again, is to say what is right and and what isn’t, so long as everyone involved are consenting adults who aren’t breaking laws?
If we allow ourselves to feel guilty for liking something (from “guilty pleasures” to sexual fantasies) because society arbitrarily deemed it guilty worthy, we’re allowing others to define who we are. We’re allowing our power to be taken away from us.
I dare you to stand in your power. I dare you to be unapologetically you and define who you are as you see fit. That’s the #DARETOBARE way.
