How Phoebe Bridgers Wrote the Perfect Breakup Song
Why “Motion Sickness” nails it
I hate you for what you did
And I miss you like a little kid
In the two opening lines of her song “Motion Sickness,” Phoebe Bridgers has already perfectly summed up the emotional conflict that comes with a bitter ending to a relationship — and she’s only getting started.
Breakups are complicated, and I often rely on a smattering of different songs at different stages as I oscillate between anger and hurt, and then towards relief and acceptance. But “Motion Sickness,” which seamlessly intertwines so many mixed emotions, is a track that I’ve found rings true throughout the entire healing process.
“Motion Sickness” has all the emotional intensity of your typical early-20s artist’s breakup song, but this early-career track showcases Bridgers’ incredible ability to lay her heart out on the table without falling into solipsism or cliche. The instrumentation is just echoey and eerie enough without being kitschy; the lyrics bleed with hurt and toy with petulance without being too melodramatic.
I don’t think there’s been a week I haven’t listened to the song multiple times since I first heard it in the summer of 2019, and at this point, I’ve lost track of the friends and acquaintances that I’ve bonded with over how profoundly we connect to the song, and how many times I’ve seen my favorite artists and writers make allusions to the song’s impact on them.
One of the greatest aspects of how Phoebe Bridgers writes songs is her ability to juxtapose the gritty specifics of her life with universal feelings. One moment, “Motion Sickness” is a magnifying glass describing an incredibly specific ex who sings in a peculiar British accent and gave Bridgers money to see a hypnotherapist. But then it all explodes into a chorus full of righteous rage that almost all of us can relate to:
I have emotional motion sickness
Somebody roll the windows down
There are no words in the English language
I could scream to drown you out.
The immediate aftermath of a painful separation is uncomfortable and overwhelming — it can feel like every moment is clouded by thoughts about your former partner — the woozy physical feeling of motion sickness is the perfect metaphor.
But the highlight of the song, to me, is a verse in which Bridgers offers some foresight:
I’m on the outside looking through
You’re throwing rocks around your room
And while you’re bleeding on your back in the glass
I’ll be glad that I made it out
And sorry that it all went down like it did
This is the much-needed moment of clarity that we all need during a painful breakup, the realization that no matter how much it hurts to be separated, you know that you’ll one day look back and be relieved that things ended. But I love that Bridgers isn’t coaxing herself to be over the situation just yet — she’s merely able to accept this truth amidst ongoing and intense grief.
“This song is about being in love with someone who’s super mean to you. I don’t know if that’s relatable, like, conflicting feelings. Don’t know if that’s relatable at all,” she quipped shyly as an introduction to the song on her first NPR Tiny Desk Concert in 2017.
Bridgers wrote “Motion Sickness” after a brief, rocky relationship with singer-songwriter Ryan Adams. At the time, Bridgers was a 20-year-old aspiring musician, while Adams was 40 with an established career. Adams, who had initially offered to help Bridgers with her career, quickly grew emotionally abusive, and when Bridgers severed their romantic relationship, Adams reneged on many of the promises he’d made. Bridgers was later one of several women to come forward accusing Adams of sexual misconduct.
Despite Adams’ efforts to hold her back, Bridgers continued to forge ahead with her music career. And in the end, Bridgers had the last laugh — the song that she wrote about their falling out became a single on her debut 2017 album, Stranger in the Alps, and helped launch her to stardom.
With two successful solo albums and an impressive list of collaborations under her belt, Bridgers is one of the most celebrated musicians in the indie world in 2021. “Motion Sickness” is now a staple in setlists she plays around the world.
When I saw Bridgers perform live in Boston a few weeks ago, she opened her set with the song. As a crowd of thousands of passionate strangers cheered and belted along in unison, it occurred to me that “Motion Sickness” is the perfect breakup song, but it also transcends being a breakup song — at the end of the day, it is the ultimate triumph song.
