Song Parody

Trent Reznor Opens an Ice Cream Shoppe

Even industrial legends need a side hustle

Photo by Ross Sokolovski on Unsplash

Hoo! Hoo! Hoo! Hoo! Hoo!

* Groovy keyboard bassline *

Hot and sunny, and you don’t know what to do?
Hot and sunny, don’t melt into a puddle of goo!
Hot and sunny, and there’s no reason to stall.
Hot and sunny, why wait when you can have it all?

Can’t you just taste it? Can’t you just taste it?
Can’t you just taste that amazing freeze?
Can’t you just taste it? Can’t you just taste it?
Can’t you just taste that refreshing freeze?

* Big loud guitars! *

Ice cream is cold!
Nine flavors sold!
The temperature’s high!
We’ve got cones and bowls!

Ice cream is cold!
Nine flavors sold!
You’re starting to fry!
So come get a bowl!

* Guitarist goes off for some ice cream *

Downtown at Trent’s Ice Cream on Third,
You’re going to get some great soft serve.
Downtown at Trent’s Ice Cream on Third,
You’re going to get some great soft serve.

Photo by Brooke Lark on Unsplash

* Groovy keys again *

Hot and sunny, stop sweating like a whore.
Hot and sunny, just head down to my new ice cream store.
Hot and sunny, we’ve got fancy sprinkles in rainbow hues.
Hot and sunny, plus, ice-cold brews.

Can’t you just taste it? Can’t you just taste it?
Can’t you just taste that amazing freeze?
Yeah, you can taste it! Yeah, you can just taste it!
And you just know your brain’s gonna freeze!

* Bigger louder guitarser! *

Ice cream is cold!
Nine flavors sold!
The temperature’s high!
We’ve got cones and bowls!

Ice cream is cold!
Nine flavors sold!
You’re starting to fry!
So come get a bowl!

Hoo-hoo, hoohoohoohoohoohoohoo!

Downtown at Trent’s Ice Cream on Third, (Ow-how!)
You’re going to get some great soft serve. (Ow-how!)
Downtown at Trent’s Ice Cream on Third, (Ow-how!)
You’re going to get some great soft serve. (Ow!)

Ow, ow, ow, my braaaaaaain…

Photo by Aarón Blanco Tejedor on Unsplash