A Book Review
“Eat Pray Love” by Elizabeth Gilbert
Why you should read it and some personal takeaways from a great book
I think all of us should eat, pray, and love just a bit more, shouldn’t we? I was told this book would probably change my life. But hey — don’t all books make an impact on your life in unforeseen ways? And this book is certainly no exception.
A book that takes us through the journey of one woman’s quest to rid herself of the sorrows that plague her life. And on her quest, readers are invited into a captivating tale of her adventures as she finds pleasure in Italy, peace in India, and finally balance in Bali. This light-hearted tale goes on to show that maybe readers don’t need a prince to come to save them from that fire-breathing dragon, and all that they need is what is inside of them all along. And what made the book such an enjoyable read was the relatable character of Elizabeth Gilbert. She, like many of her readers, reached a fork in the road where she lost her way. She could have buckled down and played victim her whole life, but what does she do? She sets out to find answers and meaning in her life, and one can’t help but rejoice when she does find what she’s looking for.
What I loved most about this book were the little tidbits of philosophy littered all around. I’m a sucker for that.
“You need to learn how to select your thoughts just the same way you select your clothes every day. This is a power you can cultivate. If you want to control things in your life so bad, work on the mind. That’s the only thing you should be trying to control.”
One of the core principles of stoicism is the idea that there are some things in this world that we can control and there are some things we cannot. And our primary focus should be on the things that we can control. Why is it so challenging for us to control what we think of? Why is the monkey mind always in control? Whether we attain mastery of our thoughts through meditation or any other means, one thing is certain: our emotions are the slave to our thoughts. And we are the slave to our emotions. Quite simply, every day we need to make a choice, be mindful of the thoughts that we have, dismiss the ones we think are unnecessary and unwanted, and cultivate the ones which will end up giving us long-lasting happiness. The trick is to not dismiss negative emotions but to accept them for what they are, embrace them, but eventually move on. And according to the stoics, that’s the best bet we can make for a better life.
“The Bhagavad Gita — that ancient Indian Yogic text — says that it is better to live your own destiny imperfectly than to live an imitation of somebody else’s life with perfection.”
The Bhagavad Gita got this spot on. We spend the better part of our lives trying to be someone else. We try to emulate, we try to imitate, but most importantly, we try to be something we are not. Maybe, we succumb to societal and cultural pressures. Maybe even to the pressure of our peers. The truth is, we feel less connected today to the people around us than ever before. Maybe because we feel deep inside that all of us are putting up an act. An act to impress. An act to pacify. The trick is to not get lost in all the chatter and stay true to who you are. Sure, you might not be the “go-getter” who’s going to change the world one day. But at the very least, you won’t be putting up an act. You’d be genuine, you’d be you. And here’s Dr. Seuss saying the same thing, “Be who you are and say what you feel. Because those who mind don’t matter and those who matter don’t mind.”
“In desperate love, we always invent the characters of our partners, demanding they be what we need of them, and then feeling devastated when they refuse to perform the role we created in the first place.”
I once read that there is more than one soulmate in this world. There might be one who’s the perfect travel partner. One more who is the perfect conversationalist. And even one who might be the perfect husband. The point is, expecting all of these traits in just one person is a recipe for disaster. The people we love will never live up to our expectations of them. There isn’t a perfect fit. And there never will be. And asking for all these in one person is quite frankly unfair. And we are always left devasted and wanting when they refuse to rise to the impossible expectations we have in our heads. So, take note of the relationships in your own life. Are the ones we love really who they claim to be, or are they the false narratives we have running in our minds?
“We search for happiness everywhere, but we are like Tolstoy’s fabled beggar who spent his life sitting on a pot of gold, under him the whole time. Your treasure — your perfection — is within you already. But to claim it, you must leave the buy commotion of the mind and abandon the desires of the ego and enter into the silence of the heart.”
I keep reiterating this more than ever. We spend a good chunk of our lives chasing external means of happiness. The highs, as I’d like to call them. But these highs are effervescent and chasing them all the time will leave us feeling unfulfilled and dissatisfied more than ever. And only by purging our vices of ego and desire, can we truly give ourselves a shot to long-lasting happiness.
And last but not least, my favorite takeaway from the book
“Happiness is the consequence of personal effort. You fight for it, strive for it, insist upon it, and sometimes even travel around the world looking for it. You have to participate relentlessly in the manifestations of your own blessings. And once you have achieved a state of happiness, you must never become lax about maintaining it. You must make a mighty effort to keep swimming upward into that happiness forever, to stay afloat on top of it.”
There are but a few books that can have a life-changing impact long after you’ve read those final chapters, but “Eat Pray Love” is certainly one of them. A book that was recommended by someone very dear to me, and here’s me recommending the same to you. Have an entertaining and riveting read!
To purchase this book, click here.
Stay tuned for more reviews by Vivek Vellore!
