A Health Anxiety Journey Into Wellness
A wellness confessional from a longterm sufferer of health anxiety
My story is no doubt similar to many of yours. Several times I have tried to make a “fresh start” in regards to my wellness. It always flattened out, lost momentum, or just shriveled up. Why? Probably willpower, ultimately. Look at how people behave with new years’ resolutions, for example — and how the gyms suddenly fill up from January but, come March, they’re back to normal and those well-meaning life improvers are sitting on a different new broom, waiting for it to fly. I felt determined to get out of this cycle of failure that is culturally accepted. As if we are stuck with what we’ve got. We aren’t, though.
Manageable Smaller Steps
I was reminded of the Japanese concept of “Kaizen”, or continuous, small improvements. Big changes all at once are daunting, but lots of baby steps in rising to that outcome work best for some people.
The Sugar Habit
It’s like when I gave up sugar in my drinks. I didn’t just go cold turkey. I reduced my tea/coffee from two spoons of granular down to one and a half for a while. Once that became normalized, I went to one, then to half. By that time I was hardly even tasting it anyway, so it was easy to switch to no added sugar in this or other drinks.
Sure, I couldn’t make the big changes yet. I didn’t have the right ongoing mindset. I would have been an action faker, not an action taker, so I did what would get me moving forward, even just a little. The sugar was one. It’s not a huge deal, is it? But that’s the point.
Chemicals and the Body
Later I tried to move into more natural products to escape possibly unknown toxic build-ups in the body. For instance, I gave up SLS (sodium lauryl sulfate) chemicals in my soaps. Some brands make a marketing point of being “SLS free” after all. Their highlighting of this is enough to worry me. This is an area that needs more research, but there’s currently enough smoke for me to assume fire.
This is particularly powerful for me due to my sometimes severe health anxiety, which has gotten the better of me in the past. I need to know I am being proactive about health. I learned of another source of foreign elements potentially being absorbed into the body: Aluminium in deodorants. Now, I should state that this is not yet medically certified information and is even disputed. But that is how health anxiety works. You lock onto any risk factor and eliminate it. the problem is too, that the certified line often takes a long time to establish a new direction, due to all the studies required over the years or decades. The truth is, someone with this anxiety is here now and needs to do something. I extensively researched and first came upon mineral stick alternatives, but found these instead contain alum — which further research suggests possibly has issues too. “Possibly” is dangerous enough to settle things for me! I am left to reason things for myself as such: Is aluminum potentially toxic? Well yes, and it relies on the body to expel it accordingly from our various sources of exposure. Then I settled on an activated charcoal balm, containing baking soda which I currently use. It lacks the longevity of regular deodorant and you’ll find that chemical-free alternatives cost many times more than common brands. when you’re on a low income like me with a family, you don’t make these financial decisions lightly.
I made a number of changes like this, always meaning to undertake the even bigger ones soon. What do I mean by big? The sort of changes that take real-time out of your day.
Wim Hof Method
One change is the Wim Hof method that I’ve heard so much about. I watched loads of YouTube videos and kept meaning to get into it. Eventually, I was kicked up the behind by a catalyst: The global coronavirus pandemic. Being a health-anxious person, I became particularly worried about blood oxygenation (hypoxia). If we were to get Covid19, that is the problem that gets people put on the ventilators.
This ER doctor’s opinion piece states:
The coronavirus attacks lung cells that make surfactant. This substance helps the air sacs in the lungs stay open between breaths and is critical to normal lung function. As the inflammation from Covid pneumonia starts, it causes the air sacs to collapse, and oxygen levels fall — Dr Richard Levitan
The Wim Hof method claims to address blood oxygenation. So I started with the breathwork and cold showers and I’m happy to say I haven’t quit after two weeks. Yeah, I’ve missed the odd day when life gets in the way, but I’m right back to it, engaging practically as well as on their Facebook group.
Facebook Zombie Phenomena
In fact, that’s another detox change: social media, which I check only briefly these days. The sheer zombie stupefaction I used to feel from that need to keep scrolling down worried me. I am so glad to be free of it. We have developed these technologies to liberate us. Instead, they have enslaved us because we aren’t spiritually or psychologically ready for them. We lack cosmic maturity. And you wonder why the aliens haven’t landed?
But let’s look back at some of the smaller changes I have made up until the present:
Apple Cider Vinegar and Reflux Disease
I have incorporated apple cider vinegar into my diet. I even saw anecdotal recommendations for using it topically for psoriasis, which I also suffer from. The important part here is to make sure it contains “the mother”, which contains a probiotic. I try to put it on as much as I can, vinegar being a flavor enhancer like salt is. But some people recommend drinking it too. Researching that first is a good idea! For example, not using a straw to drink it could see your tooth enamel damaged. Another consideration is how much to water it down. Anyway, there are a plethora of YouTube videos to watch on the subject of course, but the degree of authenticity from those claims must be questioned — but you could start with taking a look at WebMD’s listing on it, where it conservatively admits there do seem to be benefits associated to it.
I suffer from acid reflux disease, which doesn’t have an obvious cause, despite a gastro-scope camera exploration. This is where the esophagus improperly allows acid to escape into the upper tract instead of locking it down like any good sphincter is meant to. While researching online, I found many homeopathic practitioners suggesting that GPs’ go-to treatment for reflux (proton-pump inhibitors — or PPIs) are actually ineffective in the long term. Here is one example of many:
This is a huge source of contention between “official” medical channels and homeopathic ones. PPIs work by lessening the amount of acid the body creates. Those homeopathic sources claim that most reflux is actually caused by a lack of stomach acid (Hypochlorhydria), not an over-abundance of it. If these claims are true, then the acid would likely be caused by a lack of gastric motility in digesting food. Take older people for example. They tend to lose stomach acid as they get older, yet are more prone to reflux. Now personally, I think that is a real “smoking gun” if ever there was one.
My own doctor has recommended I get off these drugs too, without going into specific details with me. He probably knows I’ll obsess, but I’ll do that anyway with an internet connection! But here is what I do know from observation. Pharmaceutical companies and hence doctors do not tend to treat causes. They treat symptoms. In the case of acid reflux, for example, there are tests available, like PH tests for the stomach. The issue as I see it is: if those homeopathic practitioners are correct, then attaining PH baselines should surely be the first step, not a conditional one.
GPs don’t recommend you take PPIs long term, due to several possible side effects, one being a drop in vitamin B12 levels in the body which ultimately weakens the bones. So that’s a supplement I have started taking, as I am using PPIs long term. I’m frightened of trying to go it alone without them. This is another issue that apple cider vinegar is meant to aid with by the way. I also saw a study showing that it can lower glucose and insulin responses to certain foods.
For this subject, you’re going to have to decide for yourselves alongside whatever medical information you personally consider valuable. But my first instinct personally would be natural methods first, where possible.
How Do You Like Them Lemons?
Lemons are supposed to be good for you. I have added them to my drinking water. I heard somewhere that even though lemons are acidic, they alkalize in the blood once ingested. This does not appear to be true for foods we digest, perhaps another of those health fads that come up from time to time. But there you go again — A person with health anxiety can and will fall prey to things they hear from enough simultaneous sources.
Water Safety Too?
And while we’re talking about drinking water, I am desperately seeking a solution to filtering my water. The small jug ones seem kind of “so so” and the more effective ones you plumb in under your sink aren’t suitable for my low water pressure. This is not just about limescale from my hard water area. My concern is the number of chemicals that get into the main water system. After all, some chemicals from the drugs we take are expelled in our urine, while some people wrongly flush drugs down the toilet.
Chemicals and Interactions
And what about medication generally? It’s one thing for our health professionals to advise us what meds can and cannot combine due to bad chemical reactions, but that doesn’t account for the smorgasbord of chemicals we are all exposed to from our environments. Those medications haven’t been tested for every possible combination of those chemicals. Having health anxiety, it’s almost enough to make me scream. Too many variables, all out of control!
The Fluoride Conspiracy Theory
Fluoride is a chemical I kept hearing bad things about. You have probably heard about disagreements in local communities over whether to fluoridate the water supply. This immediately raised at least one of eyebrows, but I should add, they raise dynamically — Roger Moore style. Here is the official line on it. To save you time, they say it’s safe in low doses. This is disputed by homeopathic channels (can you see the pattern here?), so you will need to decide who to trust. This documentary doesn’t hold back on outright calling fluoride a poison. I find all of this terribly confusing, especially as I don’t particularly trust official channels to get the best information to me in good time.
To get all “new age” on you, I heard fluoride calcifies the pineal gland in the brain. Some people consider this to be the site of the body’s “third eye” if chakras and such are your thing.
I can report I haven’t suffered any dental problems as a result of cutting it out of my life. It’s hard to report on any health gains made from such things, as they work on a longer-term scale. Trying to find a fluoride-free toothpaste and mouthwash was difficult and expensive. They do not make it easy for you, they really don’t. But the thing that bothers me, aside from the obvious smoke/fire analogy is that if fluoride can accumulate in the pineal gland, accumulation must surely lead to an overall higher long term dose inside the body, right? This is my own speculation, which us health anxiety sufferers are very quick to act upon.
A Lifetime of Toxic Chemical Build Up?
As I understand it, a lot of these minor poisonous effects on the body stack up versus your genetic tendency towards cell abnormality, hence illness, until one day we are seriously ill and we wonder why. The environment, medication, smoking and the foods we eat (processed foods are my current worry to investigate) are all contributing factors in one way or another, be it directly or indirectly.
Getting Saucy
Here’s one simple example: You won’t believe how many people I meet who do not refrigerate their condiments, like ketchup, etc. It clearly states on many bottles to refrigerate after opening. It’s hard to find a clearly available bottom line on this, so we are left resorting to the internet arguing the matter. Let’s look at it with common sense. Yes, those sauces have preservatives and yes they may state that it can go in the cupboard for eight weeks, but a lot of people leave their condiments unused for longer than that. And who thinks to write down the date they opened the bottle? There is going to be a point where mold grows. The mold you see on the surface or the cap is one thing, but what if it grows inside the sauce itself? Now, and I can only classify this as personal, anecdotal evidence, a scientist friend of mine who shall remain nameless revealed to me that he had to conduct tests on a popular food chain’s condiment packets, and confirmed they contained toxic elements due to spoilage.
And what about those restaurants and cafes you visit where they have the condiments left out in trays waiting to bring to your table? I’ve often wondered if they leave those out overnight. Of course they do! But claims state that it’s safe to do so, right? Well, what about those permanent-use condiment bottles that they refill? Do they wash those out completely between uses? Who knows? I’m willing to bet that some don’t — and where you choose to eat out is a sign of how much you are willing to bet.
Dishwashing Liquid: The Ultimate Condiment?
Here’s another — I sometimes clash with people over washing up. No, not who is going to do it, but leaving the bubbles on everything without rinsing it off. They say it’s harmless. So I ask, would they squeeze a tiny drop of washing up liquid into water daily if it was tasteless? Would they swig it from the bottle? It’s crazy and it most definitely triggers me.
Turmeric: Not just For Curry
Talking of negative genetic changes, turmeric is something I have been hearing about for a number of years now. Claims are that it can repair cellular damage. They tested it on the BBCs Trust Me I’m A Doctor, finding that real benefits appear to come from frying with it, and perhaps adding black pepper.
The Organic Issue
What about organic produce? I already hear that many fruits and vegetables, strawberries, in particular, are very bad for retaining the chemicals they get sprayed with as articles like this will espouse. Again, the common “official” line is that all is well, such as this EPA web page. I would respond that their mentioned measures of reducing such and such chemicals over the years is in fact indicative of the need to, well, reduce chemicals. It’s like when the early mobile cell phones were a thing and people worried about their safety? The bottom line at the time was: They are safe. But now we can read reports of how newer phones are “even safer” for the body, regarding exposures. Even safer from what? I thought they said it was safe before? You see the same old cycle goes round, again and again, and I don’t want any part of it.
Organic prices are ridiculous and quite impossible to sustain for my budget. I could get into a local produce sharing scheme perhaps. It would be good if more communities supported this.
That’s A Wrap
So those are my changes so far. I’m always adding new things to the list, but I will only speak about changes I have maintained for longer than three months, to ensure I keep any personal “fads” out of the picture. Having health anxiety means incessantly worrying about all of these things, but you know what? It doesn’t seem so bad if I share it. It’s nice to know I have someone else to share with.
If you have any comments about this or ideas for other steps I could explore then do let me know.
Take care and stay well.
The wellness topics from this author are personal, unaffiliated viewpoints only and do not necessarily constitute those of any publication they appear in. they are not to be considered a replacement for medical advice. If in any doubt, please do consult your doctors.
