The Comfort Zone Is Where Your Dreams Come To Die
“Life begins at the end of your comfort zone — Neal Donald Walsh”
What’s so wrong with being comfortable?
Well, nothing really. 99% percent of people enjoy binging their favourite show with a tub of ice cream. (100% made up statistic) And there’s nothing wrong with that. The catch? Your dreams die when all you do is seek comfort.
“Discomfort is your friend. It is the way towards progress and a fulfilled life.”
If an eagle wishes to fly, it must leave its nest. Fundamentally, we’re designed to seek comfort and security. Shelter, food, people you can trust, and love. We gravitate towards these things because centuries of human existence have made it so that we believe we need them. And we did. And we still do.
But there’s nuance here. For the majority of human existence, we have been trying to answer the very uncomfortable question of survival. Where are we going to get our next meal? Are we going to be safe from the storm? From predators? From disease? These questions have been more or less answered today. Shelter is readily available for a vast majority of people. Getting a meal is relatively easy. Healthcare is better than it’s ever been. We don’t have to worry about these uncomfortable issues anymore. So, what’s the problem?
Well, the problem is now that we’ve answered the question of survival, we’re tasked with answering a far more complex problem. Meaning. Unlike survival, its answer differs from person to person. We all believe we must achieve one thing or another to give some form of meaning to our lives. Supporting a family, financial independence, uplifting other people, traveling the world, etc. To work towards any one of these, however, it is imperative that we seek challenges that help us grow. You need to be comfortable with being uncomfortable.
“Reason is always the greatest motivation in the pursuit of understanding. Why are we here? What’s our purpose?”
Speaking from anecdotal experience, towards the end of 2019 I was in a very bad place. Certain life experiences and mistakes forced me away from the way of life that I was accustomed to. It took time to get my mind right. I realized that I could either accept where I am or try to better myself. I chose the latter. It was a painfully slow process. Some days it felt like I would take one step forward and two steps back. When that changed, I do not know. All I can say is I refused to look back.
I’m a strong believer in the fact that every single person has the ability to better themselves. Perhaps the reason you’re even reading this article points to the fact that you believe change is necessary. I promise you can be better tomorrow than you are today.
Getting started
Okay. Very cool. But how does one get outside their comfort zone if they don’t know where to start? Well, I like to think about it as an athlete. What’s something you really wish you could do? Let’s say your goal is to get in shape and you want to get stronger. Start by setting an end goal, a time constraint, and then reverse engineer from there. Let’s say you want to go from 3 to 15 pull-ups in 6 months. Work backward from there. You must average an extra 2 pull-ups every month in order to get to your goal. Through this process, you’ve set a long-term goal and you’ve divided it into several short-term goals. There is value to slow but consistent progress. Trying to do too much too fast results in a crash and burn scenario. Think big, act small.
“But what if I can only get to 12 pull-ups in 6 months?” That would still be a 400% increase from where you were 6 months ago. Understand that progress is never linear. You could overshoot or undershoot your expectations. As long as you try though, you’re going to get better. You can apply this concept to anything. Want to become a web developer? Find a course that fits your needs. Want to buy a house? Work those extra hours and learn how to budget.
Tips to get out of your comfort zone
- Do something every day that challenges you: No, you don’t have to run a marathon every other day. This could be something as small as trying to cook something you never have before. Or read a book that challenges your perspective on something. The challenge doesn’t have to be something serious or monumental. Just try and be consistent.
- Understand fear is natural: When trying to do something new a fear of the unknown, fear of failure is natural. It’s a natural instinct designed to keep us safe. Fear can be a friend or a foe. Understand that it is natural to be cautious and that you should persevere anyway.
- Get someone else to do it with you: A great way to get started on your self-improvement journey is to try to get a friend or a family member to start it with you. This can act as a form of extrinsic motivation and help you bond with your loved one in the process.
- Journal your progress: A journal acts as a record of your effort over time. You’re not always going to be on track. A journal can help you reflect on how far you’ve come, and act as a safeguard from falling out of line completely when the going gets tough.
- Give yourself an ultimatum: “If I don’t finish studying this chapter today I will eat only home-cooked meals for the next week.” Using an ultimatum like so can give you that extra push you may need to stick to your goals.
- Be patient: There will be stumbles along the way. This is part of the journey. These experiences are important. Mindset is everything. There’s no such thing as losing you either win, or you learn.
- Write down your goals: Writing down your goals helps you stay accountable. It can help you visualize how your version of success looks. It will give you a sense of clarity and direction.
“The distance between your dreams and reality is called action.”
One thing I’d like to clear out is I’m not trying to dissuade anyone from stopping and smelling the roses. In fact, I believe that a lot of people misinterpret the phrase “Embrace the grind”.
You must embrace it, but realize you don’t live in it. You are not a machine, don’t treat yourself like one. Kicking back and relaxing is not a luxury, it’s a necessity. Balance is key.
Perhaps the most important takeaway should be you’re not always going to be uncomfortable. Discomfort is a tool for improvement, not a lifestyle. If getting out of your comfort zone is creating too much anxiety it’s okay to take a step back and evaluate what went wrong.
If any of this makes sense to you at all, I urge you to try and do whatever it is you’ve been putting off. Right here, right now. Don’t let life pass you by.
“We have two lives, and the second begins when we realise we only have one” — Confucius
