Why You Shouldn’t Say: “I’m NEVER Drinking Again!”
It’s New Year’s morning, and you’re DYING.
“I’m NEVER going to drink again!”
Only this time, you really mean it. You’ve noticed that, over the years, alcohol is detracting more from your life than it’s adding.
You make it an impressive 19 days into January! Or even do the entire 31 days of Dry January.
But, now you’re right back to daily drinking — or binging every weekend.
The huge issue with telling yourself “never again” is that your brain is petrified of deprivation AND change!*
*Your brain is lazy. It doesn’t know the difference between a good habit and a bad habit. It just takes everything you repeatedly think, say, or do and turns it into a habit so it doesn’t have to work so hard.
And with your very well-meaning “never again,” you’ve just served it a double dose of “Hell no!”
So, what now?
Do you just carry on drinking, knowing that alcohol is robbing you of living your happiest, most fulfilled life?
This would be a sh*tty article if that were the case so…
What CAN you do to quit drinking?
Take it JUST one day at a time.
Yes, yes. I know that sounds ridiculously simple. But change does NOT have to be excruciating.
Change can be fun, exciting, hopeful, and a whole range of other positive emotions!
Here’s the plan that’s helped me to stop drinking:
- Before starting my day, I watch an inspirational video or read an article about how amazing AF (Alcohol-free) life is.
- Then I put pen to paper (or fingers to keyboard!) and do what I call “Future Writing.” Future writing is a visualisation technique where you pretend it’s already the next day and you’ve made it through without drinking! The more detailed you can be, the better.
- (Point 3 continues a bit further down…)
Here’s an excerpt from one of my Future Writing exercises:
Had quite a day yesterday! Went for lunch with ***** and then felt like drinking. I came home to journal about it and do my future writing and I’m SO happy it worked again! I had a lovely evening with *****, watched a movie while cuddling in bed and had quite an early night. It was incredible to wake up refreshed and to know I’ve worked through my first craving! I CAN DO HARD THINGS! :D
How does Future Writing help you to stop drinking?
Future writing is a form of visualisation. And because your brain struggles to really know the difference between what you imagine and what is truly real*, you can fool it into thinking you’ve actually already been successful!
*Your brain can’t tell the difference between real actions and imagined actions. When you imagine yourself engaged in an activity, your brain creates neural pathways. So your brain thinks you are actually doing that particular activity.
Why is Future Writing a Powerful aid in your quest to not drink?
The key to creating a new habit is to do it with Positive Emotions.
I’m not talking about the RA RA — put a smile on your face and pretend you’re happy — the fake it till you make it mentality.
I’m referring to evoking positive emotions such as:
- Gratitude
- Hope
- Pride
just to name a few.
When you lose yourself in your Future Writing, you feel all the positive emotions from being proud of yourself; you feel hopeful and grateful to be alive and making positive changes in your life.
(The old belief system that states habits are created with consistency and persevering a certain amount of days has been debunked in several studies.)
“Emotions create habits. Not repetition. Not frequency. Not fairy dust. Emotions.” — BJ Fogg from Tiny Habits
Here’s my plan to stop drinking (continued…)
3. After my morning inspiration and Future Writing, I say the following out loud, with a (non-forced!) smile on my face:
“I commit to not drinking today!”
Here’s why making a firm decision works:
If you leave it up to chance, just “seeing how your day goes” and making a decision later in the day, the chance of giving in lies very close to 100%.
What’s that old saying? Maybe means yes!
Instead of sayings, let’s throw some science at it.
We all start the day with a finite amount of willpower. In the morning, it’s usually pretty easy to say no to that piece of cake — and wine at 9 am isn’t usually that appealing…
But as your day wears on, you spend your willpower on many small (or big!) decisions, which depletes your willpower reserves.
So, round rolls at 4 pm, and you grab that doughnut while wishing you were home already to pour a glass of wine/crack open that beer.
This phenomenon is called “decision-making fatigue.”*
*As it turns out, your willpower is like a muscle. And similar to the muscles in your body, willpower can get fatigued when you use it over and over again. Every time you make a decision, it’s like doing another rep in the gym. And similar to how your muscles get tired at the end of a workout, the strength of your willpower fades as you make more decisions.
How do you tackle decision-making fatigue?
To combat decision-making fatigue, you can make your firm decisions early in the day.
Not only does this help to not give in at the end of the day, it saves you from wasting precious mental capacity because you’re not constantly thinking, “I know I shouldn’t, but I want to,” “I can stop tomorrow, today’s been too stressful.”
What other options are there to help you to stop drinking?
Of course, there are MANY techniques and tools that can help you be successful as you try navigating an AF life; believe me, I’ve tried quite a few!
- Pure willpower
- AA
- Alan Carr’s: Easyway to Stop Drinking
- And now, finally, The Path — by Annie Grace.
Don’t get me wrong, each of the above methods has its own merits, and some of these have worked for thousands of people.
But, if you’d like an opinion from someone that’s tried to stop drinking for years, start with any programs offered by Annie Grace.
Her courses are steeped in science — which works for my brain because I need proof, people!
Disclaimer: I’m not affiliated with any of Annie Grace’s courses; I’m merely writing about what’s worked for me — hoping it can help even just one person.
I’d love to hear from you, but I understand that issues with drinking go hand in hand with shame and self-loathing.
So, feel free to send me a personal message if you’d like!
I’ll be writing more articles on drinking/alcohol, so — watch this space!
