New Maxims for a New Era
A penny saved, is a penny friend for the jar of pennies on your night stand.
The early bird catches the worm, and the tasks go to the rabbits.
God helps those, who help themselves, so no I will not get you a glass of water since I’m up.
People who live in glass houses should not throw stones, unless they’re outside.
When in Rome, do as the Romans do . . . and start your own republic or maybe build an aqueduct or build roads that lead out of Rome or something.
Two wrong don’t make a right. But wrong is relative, so if you think you were right, you probably were, Deb.
The squeaky wheel gets the grease, unless we’re talking about customers and you’ve worked Customer Service for eight years so you know all the tricks those friggin’ wheels are up to.
Beggars can’t be choosers, but you also don’t want to be the asshole making the beggar choose between freezing to death or wearing that Make America Great shirt.
No man is an island, but he sure thinks he does doesn’t he? Which is definitely fine, because this sunken land bridge doesn’t need him.
Fortune favors those who invested sooner, rather than later.
You can’t judge a book by its cover . . . but you can’t rely on The New York Times’ bestseller list either. Twilight was on it for years.
When the going gets tough, the tough gets us going under our desks to curl in the fetal position, maybe listening to Headspace, probably doing the breathing exercise we learned in yoga. But it’s fine. We’re fine.
You can’t always get what you want . . . right now.
A watched pot never boils, but please don’t forget about that boiling pot. Maybe set a timer? Or maybe don’t get into watching the latest episode of Project Runway while you’re cooking? What are you making anyway? I thought you said you wanted a sandwich.
The grass is always greener on her Instagram feed because she pays for an app with better filters.
The pen is mightier than the sword, especially if it’s an EpiPen and you need it because someone got stung by a bee. The sword is no good in that situation.
Better late, than flaked out on you.
Keep your friends close, and your allergies closer. That means you, adorable kittens!
If you can’t beat ’em, join the resistance.
