Perfectly Reasonable Responses to the Loaded Inquiry of “When Are You Going to Have Kids?”
Tomorrow.
Right after I finish Squid Game.
Why? Are you going to take them?
I’m sorry, but we’re not interested. I’m perfectly happy with my credit card at this time.
No, I’m not looking to sell right now. How did you get this number?
I’m unfortunately at bandwidth at the moment but I’ve set a reminder on my calendar to revisit this in a few weeks and we can circle back then.
Have you seen that movie where Arnold Schwarzenegger is pregnant?
When are you going to give me your HBO login so I can finally catch up on Succession?
When are you going to invest into my start-up? Revenue has been growing steady over the last quarter and the offer is still open on partnering up. Happy to do 10 percent ownership too.
When are you going to clean your gutters?
I was thinking after lunch tomorrow at the Y.M.C.A. Care to join me?
Who did you vote for in the last election?
And how does that make you feel?
Yes, and . . . ?
No.
Ah! I knew I forgot something. I’ve been meaning to do that but I keep pushing the reminder back to tonight.
Maybe later? I still have a beginner embroidery kit I’ve been wanting to finish and a juice cleanse I’m starting Monday.
When will you Venmo me your part of the check from dinner last week?
When are you going to work on that idea for a novel? You’ve been really hedging around it.
When am I supposed to?
When do you need it by?
When doves cry.
Later.
I’ll have it on your desk by end of day tomorrow.
